Gilbert And Sullivan - If you give me your attention lyrics

[KING GAMA] If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am: I'm a genuine philanthropist — all other kinds are sham Each little fault of temper and each social defect In my erring fellow creatures, I endeavor to correct To all their little weaknesses I open people's eyes; And little plans to snub the self-sufficient I devise; I love my fellow creatures — I do all the good I can — Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man! And I can't think why! To compliments inflated I've a withering reply; And vanity I always do my best to mortify; A charitable action I can sk**fully dissect; And interested motives I'm delighted to detect; I know everybody's income and what everybody earns; And I carefully compare it with the income-tax returns; But to benefit humanity however much I plan Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man! And I can't think why! I'm sure I'm no ascetic; I'm as pleasant as can be; You'll always find me ready with a crushing repartee I've an irritating chuckle, I've a celebrated sneer I've an entertaining sn******g, I've a fascinating leer To everybody's prejudice I know a thing or two; I can tell a woman's age in half a minute — and I do But although I try to make myself as pleasant as I can Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man! And I can't think why! [ENSEMBLE] He can't think why! [ALL] I/he can't think why!