George Carlin - Advertising Lullaby lyrics

Quality, value, style, service, selection, convenience Economy, savings, performance, experience, hospitality Low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms Affordable prices, money-back guarantee Free installation, free admission, free appraisal, free alterations Free delivery, free estimates, free home trial, and free parking No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, no muss No risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment No entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary No one will call on you, no payments or interest till September Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately Batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available Some a**embly required, some restrictions may apply So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation With our friendly, professional staff. Our experienced and Knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a Selection that's just right for you and just right for your budget And say, don't forget to pick up your free gift: a cla**ic deluxe Custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select Gourmet pocket pencil sharpener. Yours for the asking No purchase necessary. It's our way of saying thank you And if you act now, we'll include an extra added free complimentary Bonus gift at no cost to you: a cla**ic deluxe custom designer Luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet combination Key ring, magnifying gla**, and garden hose, in a genuine Imitation leather-style carrying case with authentic vinyl trim Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It's our way of Saying thank you Actually, it's our way of saying 'Bend over just a little farther So we can stick this big advertising dick up your a** a little bit Deeper, a little bit deeper, a little bit DEEPER, you miserable No-good dumba** f**ing consumer!'