Georg Kreisler - Dirty Ferdy lyrics

Dirty Ferdy was a cowboy most notorious You could smell him in the distance of a mile Oh, but look at him tonight, where he looks glorious That's because he took a bath and dressed in style Farmer Joe was getting married tonight, so there was a dance Dirty Ferdy and his girlfriend dirty Marilyn Rode a' horses from the stables to the car Dirty Marilyn was looking very feminine And was smoking nothing worse than a cigar Farmer Joe was getting married tonight, so there was a dance At the "Dead-Man's Bar", where the dance was held The proprietor had put a neon sign that said: "Now, boys, before you go in steppin' Please check your guns and any other shootin' weapon" So Ferdy checked his pistol, he was a cavalier And he knew Marilyn had two more pistols in her bra**iere So now then that was okay So the band rose to play A be-bop version of the overture to " Götterdämmerung" And Marilyn took off her mink And then they all had a drink And another, to a song by Humperdinck All the boys and girls were right polite Farmer Joe, as you know, was getting spliced tonight The Saxophonist was playing a run Whereat the highest note turned out a little flat Wherupon Ferdy, who didn't think that fun Said to Marilyn: "That's a dirty rat!" But the lights were dim So cowboy Jim Thought that Ferdy had directed that remark at him And as he used to go with Marilyn 'til Ferdy came along He felt such criticism morbid, inconsiderate and wrong He didn't want to fray That's not "distingue" So he just bit Ferdy's nose off, and threw it away Dirty Ferdy was hit! Oh! He could spit For his pistols he had checked and he was lost without it But all at once he felt much better: He remembered, Marilyn had two pistols in her sweater! So with this attitude He kicked Jim's lower latitude Through that kick cowboy Jim could have flown to the moon But the room came to an end and stopped his flight He broke the ribs of several others to be spiteful To farmer Joe this was all terribly frightful But his wife said: "This wedding is delightful! Now, let's get Dirty Ferdy, and let's get him tonigh!" Ferdy knew, the time had come to use 'em And shouted: "Marilyn, hand me those pistols from your bosom!" But Marilyn said: "Surprise, surprise! With my last two bullets I just k**ed three guys!" And since empty pistols carry no authority Dirty Ferdy tried at first to run away But it was him against the terrible majority And he woke up in the hospital next day And they gave him a shot of Penicillin there And a pretty nurse ...As has been mentioned, Dirty Ferdy was a cowboy most notorious You could smell him in the distance of a mile But it took him just a week and he looked glorious 'Cause he took a bath and dressed himself in style Farmer Joe was getting divorced again, so everyone could dance some more