Garfunkel And Oates - Sports Go Sports lyrics

Sports, go sports! I promise I really totally care who wins If there's a net or a hoop or hole in the ground I hope they get it in If they wanna go to all the bases I hope they do If they're supposed to run past a line or whatever I hope they do that too Sports, go sports! May they top their opponents numerically in the allotted time Lest they disenfranchise their audience and see their revenues decline May the partakers be sturdy and rapid in the spirited energies they exert May they be victorious in perpetuity Don't I look cute in this football shirt? Sports, go sports! Athletics are number 1! Participants are heroes Go team yeah! This is the most important thing that's ever occurred The vicarious fulfillment of your dream that got deferred You had aspirations as a kid but you didn't have the sk** So you watch genetically superior people do the things you never will Sports, go sports! May the competitors you prefer best their opposing equivalents So you can somehow feel connected to the beat of your self-appointed constituents May the hours you spend watching post-match pontificators amplify the thrill of being a witness And better your predictive aptitude for your squad's future physical fitness Sports, go sports! Athletics are number 1! Participants are heroes Go team yeah! Watching able-bodied millionaires play with each other Watching less-agile millionaires talk about it on TV May they compile copious points so they are rewarded and meritorious So you feel temporarily adjacently victorious Sports, go sports! Athletics are number 1! Participants are heroes Go team yeah! (Every other word!) Sports, sports! Are 1! Are Go yeah! (Every other other word!) Go Athletics number Participants heroes Team (Now in Latin!) Ludis ire ludes Arcu sunt optimum Participants sunt heroes Ire Quadrigus sic (Now the truth!) If you could only throw a ball You'd have a hotter wife Lots and lots of money And a way better life And a way better life Go sports!