Garfunkel And Oates - Self Esteem lyrics

You text at 3 in the morning And you misspell my name You slept with half my friends on Facebook And most of them think you are lame You say that with me, it's different And you're not that big of a dick And if you disappear, it's just you're busy Not 'cause you're with some chick I know this might be uncouth But I decided to tell you the truth My self esteem's not low enough to date you It's close, but not quite there Give me time to get a little bit more rejected And you and I could make an awesome pair A totally awesome pair I seem like your perfect target Like I've been lonely too long You think that I haven't had s** in forever And I'll admit that you're not wrong But I would rather have no one Than this crap would let me reaffirm I wouldn't touch your dick if I'd been poisoned And the antidote was in your s**m I know this might be uncouth But I'm just telling the truth My self esteem's not low enough to date you It's close, but not quite there Give me time to get a little bit more desperate And you and I could make an awesome pair A totally awesome pair Thanks for not even pretending to respect me Or slightly acknowledging how mean this is 'Cause what's easy to find is a loving relationship What's hard for a girl like me to find is penises Especially when I'm on the road Or anywhere, really 'Cause I'm a girl. Hello That's kind of how it goes Love is elusive and impossible But dicks are available everywhere So sorry if I don't feel super-lucky To get a penis like yours attached To a man who can't even pretend to care Maybe if something goes horribly awry And I think I'll never find a better guy But for now... for now... My self esteem's not low enough to date you It's so close, but not quite there Give me time to get a little bit more wasted And you and I could make an awesome pair A totally awesome pair