Garfunkel And Oates - Gay Boyfriend lyrics

Got a man, call him my boyfriend, think I've fallen in love* The only man that gives me the things that I am worthy of Hugs me and holds me, kisses me softly, calls me back right away He communicates his feelings to me and cares what I have to say He says "Baby, I love you, baby, I need you Never gonna let you go" Writes me love notes, takes me shopping and to Broadway shows Talk to him like he is a girlfriend, slumber party every night I've never felt so happy before, he's almost Mr. Right But I think he's hot and I think he's sweet And I think he's gay and I think he's neat Okay, okay, so my boyfriend's gay But what does it matter anyway? He hasn't come out of the closet yet 'Til then, I'll take all that I can get If he doesn't think I know But I know, I know, I've always known If he doesn't think it shows But it shows, for sure, it's always shown You might think it's a little sad But he's the best lover that I've ever had At night, when we're lying in bed He's not hard, it's okay, 'cause he gives me head Like my mom always says "It takes more than a pound to be good in bed" You don't know the meaning of "rock your world" 'Til you've been with a guy who thinks like a girl He lies and says he's on meds, that's why he's never stiff When I ask if he's not into me, he always says, "As if!" But the way he makes up for his shortcomings just could not be finer 'Cause my new best friend is? his tongue and his is my vagina He reappears from under the covers, looking like he's been to war Breaks a sweat, catches his breath, and comes down back for more After that, he's never tired, he just want to talk And cuddles me until I sleep, then takes his dog for a walk Someday he'll come out and I'll be happy for him when he does And I know I'll be sad and thinking of what was Someday this fairytale will come to an end 'Cause his fairy tail will find a like-minded friend If he doesn't think I know But I know, I know, I've always known If he doesn't think it shows But it shows, for sure, it's always shown You don't need no penetration When you got a good dose of overcompensation At night, when we're lying in bed He's not hard, it's okay, 'cause he gives me head Like my mom always says "It takes more than a pound to be good in bed" You don't know the meaning of slot machine 'Til you've been with a king who thinks like a queen I know it's not forever, but that's okay 'Cause I'm his girlfriend, and he's my gay (cha cha cha)