I am that dickhead in the kitchen Giving wine to your best girl's gla** I am the amateur p**nographer Unpleasant publisher by hand Not here, not here, heroic acts of man Not here, not here, heroic acts of man Oh I see the stumbling pinstripe trouser The flecks of sick on an office shoe Part of the fatty British average That lives in the houses around you Not here, not here, heroic acts of man Not here, not here, heroic acts of man Let's all crowd round the cowering body Throw stocky fingers, sticks and stones Let's promise every girl we marry We'll always love them, though we probably won't While a knight in sh**ty armour Rips the drunk out of her dress One man tears into another Hides a coward's heart in a lion's chest Man, he breeds although he shouldn't Breeding just because he comes Acts the father for a minute Until the worst instincts return Not here, not here, heroic acts of man Not here, not here, heroic acts of man I have never wanted more to be your man And build a house around you But I am just like all the rest of them Sorry, selfish, trying to improve I'm here, I'm here, not heroic but I try I'm here, I'm here, not heroic but I try