The Pa**ionate Householder to his Love Come, live with us and be our cook, And we will all the whimsies brook That German, Irish, Swede, and Slav And all the dear domestics have. And you shall sit upon the stoop What time we go and cook the soup, And you shall hear, both night and day, Melodious pianolas play. And we will make the beds, of course, You'll have two autos and a horse, A lady to Marcel your tresses, And all the madame's half-worn dresses. Your gowns shall be of lace and silk, Your laving shall be done in milk. Two trained physicians when you cough, And Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays off. When you are mashing Irish spuds You'll wear the very finest duds. If good to you these prospects look, Come, live with us and be our cook. On callers we have put no stops, We love the iceman and the cops, And no alarm clock with its ticks And bell to ring at half-past six. O Gretchen, Bridget, Hulda, Mary, Come, be our genius culinary. If good to you these prospects look, Come, live with us and be our cook.