Frank Zappa - The Jazz Discharge Party Hats lyrics

Frank zappa (guitar, vocals, drum machine) Steve vai (guitar, acoustic guitar) Ray white (guitar, vocals) Roy estrada (vocals) Bob harris (boy soprano) Ike willis (vocals) Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals) Tommy mars (keyboards) Arthur barrow (keyboards, ba**, micro ba**, rhythm guitar) Ed mann (percussion) Scott thunes (ba**) Chad wackerman (drums) Vinnie colaiuta (drums) Craig steward (harmonica) Dick fegy (mandolin) Marty krystall (saxophone) Once upon a time It was in albuquerque, new mexico There were these girls that worked at the college The were really cool... (they thought so anyway) The would be delighted to tell you how suave they where At the drop of a hat There was three of 'em: One of them thought she was a beauty queen... The other one was a walking blow-job And then there was this skinny girl... Oh well... Some of the guys in the band got together With the girls from the college They were having a good time... (we were in alburquerque for a couple of days) But these girls thought they were hot sh** 'n wouldn't pooch the guys in the band On the first day, so... A couple of the guys in the band Who were desparate for that kind of action Kept workin' on 'em for two days (which is a waste of f**in' time anyway...) So, anyway... But if that's your idea of a good time, what the hey? Send those pants up here! Here's some more! Okay, good-good! Traditional cotton...oh, how sweet! Umf...huh-huh-huh-huhhh... Here! work these! Anyway... We're in albuquerque, new mexico... A couple of the guys in the band, who shall go nameless Because their girlfriends might find out Decided they were gonna work the wall on these girls From the college So, one night...it was the first night When they were still trying to 'get it in there' (ya know what i mean? huh-huh-huh-huh...) The skinny girl, she says to one of the guys in the band She says, well, to several of the guys in the band And one of the t-shirt guys too... "hey! let's go skinny-dipping!" At two o'clock in the morning at the pool at the hotel That's right, your heard right, Two o'clock in the morning, pool at the hotel... It was so fun... But the water was very, very cold! So they go out there and the girl who was really skinny 'n' probably totally insensitive to climatic changes Took all of her garments off and she jumped in the pool And she says, "hey guys! come on in!" Well, one of them did... The other one was too smart for that sh** So him and the t-shirt guy say by the edge of the pool And when the girl who was really skinny (and insensitive to climatic changes) Took off her clothes and jumped in the pool She threw her pants over there by the little table Well, one of the guys in the band picked up het panties (he told me later the stuff in the bottom Was like punching an eclair...) Anyhow...there was nothing else to do... It was alburquerque, new mexico It's two o'clock in the morning... They're not going to get any nooky anyway... So this one guy and the t-shirt guy Started sniffing the girl's panties... They were sniffing the fudge and sniffing the glue... Sniffing every 'thing' that adhered to these Delightful little morsels (some of you might think this is weird... No wonder. it's not exactly normal, but What the f**?) So, they're snorting it... (hey! it's the twentieth century... Whatever you can do to have a good time, let's get on with it, So long as it doesn't cause a murder...) So they're snorting the pants 'n' then they put them on their heads... They were having a good time... The girl was in the water...she didn't even see What was going on with her underpants... They were wearing the pants It looked just like a tiny little party hat... Their ears were sticking out the side...it was so fun Later on they discovered, This would make a great way of life for them... They would go from town to town, looking for panties They would take the panties after they were hung up On the clothes line Later on they would take 'em back in the dressing room They would play with them... They would fetish the underpants... They would snort every little morsel attached To the underpants...and then...they would feel that They were fulfilled And so you can see, That what we're doing here on stage Is part of a great american tradition The tradition of the Jazz discharge party hats