Foolish Ed - So Help Me God lyrics

Yo god you there its ed I was just wondering if you could get these thoughts out of my head Lately I haven't been feeling the same Maybe cuz I ain't sane My mind is making me become a recluse Should I just tie the noose? f** man should I just jump off the roof? God I really need your help here I just wanna be in the clear I've done some bad things Will I make it to spring? Man I'm on the brink I'm slowly losing my mind Every single time in writing these lines I feel like I'm about to shine And when I die there will be a shrine I hope one day ill get signed So my foolish mind can get a ride Up to hidden hills Where i can see people who can pay fat bills Whatever man ill just do this on my own Like a sad man drinking patrone I feel so alone just like how she left me But I guess that's how I'm suppose to be I wanna soar higher than the sky And stop all the drive by's God tell my homies I say hello and tell them that it s**s when I'm here down low Why did they have to die so young It's the clashes of the madness in our ma**es Police and the citizens with gases Children of the rich looking for b**hes While poor kids seek ditches But god it seems like you don't care But when I go up the white stairs As I wait for the gates I'll realize that I never should've been late Hook God why aren't you answering I know I'm bantering But I'm starting to believe you don't exist Like VHS What's happens after d**h? I just want to know before my last breath God please respond