Flobots - If I lyrics

If I hadn't been a quiet introspective kid If I hadn't been a nerd, wouldn't have met with him If we hadn't observed we'd be the best of friends That preferred the spoken word to the toke and binge If momma hadn't died when I was young Would me and sis been so tight from jump? If dad hadn't lost his mind to a disease Would I be up here askin' ya'll to notice me? In the dark times, didn't know where the path went I was close to the edge like Grand Master Flash said It was hands of my friends that held me back Yes, without them I'd MJ keep slidin' backwards Or be a hypocrite like some others have been If that and the other hadn't happened Don't know that I'd ever been Brer Rabbit Askin' how many if's between hero and has-been? If I, if I, if I had only known That I would be a lamb to the slaughter Now I know If I, if I, if I had only known I know, I bet it only makes me stronger Now I know, now I know Now I know, know, know Now I know, now I know Now I know, know, know If I hadn't grown up in the 80's Experiencing the various things that made me Would I still be standing center stage Trying to innovate new ways to demonstrate? If mommy-daddy hadn't turned off Mork and Mindy To inform us divorce was pending Would him and me have spent these 23 years in a frenzy Moving back and forth with such forceful energy? I remember when I was a little baby Lying there alone on my pillow casing Upset already I could feel the aging The urge to return was debilitating And maybe I'm still afraid and need to Cry a little harder for the world of play things Stop looking back on these silly day dreams Sing along with me if you feel the same way If I, if I, if I had only known That I would be a lamb to the slaughter Now I know If I, if I, if I had only known I know, I bet it only makes me stronger Now I know, now I know Now I know, know, know Now I know, now I know Now I know, know, know If I had known what awaited was unplanned If I had known the blade was in a loved one's hand If I had known of the possible injury If I had known the altar was meant for me But now I know nobody can predict events And now I know there's cracks in the picket fence Now I know that something else exists And now I know a life can be built from this If I had known emotions would still remain If I had known that time wouldn't heal the pain If I had known the intent of the injury If I had known the altar wasn't meant for me Now I know there's treasure hidden in these scars Now I know there's presence in an empty yard Now I know what it took for me to survive But now I know where to go to become alive If I, if I, if I had only known That I would be a lamb to the slaughter Now I know If I, if I, if I had only known I know, I bet it only makes me stronger Now I know, now I know Now I know, know, know Now I know, now I know Now I know, know, know