Flo & Joan - Lady Crisps lyrics

When I'm at a work party And Pervy John's being pervy in the office crowd The only thing running through my mind is fu*k These Crisps Are Loud I've forcefully declined a man's advances But he's being a bit of a clinger I'd really love to just give him a slap But there's cheese dust on my fingers Well good news, Women of the World Stop knitting and listen to this We've finally got what we always wanted Lady Crisps Shoutout, Rejoice & Drop Your sh*t The war was fought and we won it They only gone and gave us god damn Lady Crisps Do we want equal pay? What's that? Positions of Power? Why? To be listened to when we say no? No Our lives have just improved a bunch Cause we've now got a crisp that doesn't crunch And all because of god damn fu*kin' Lady Crisps When I open my paycheck for the job what I do What's the same what is done by a man I think if only there was a tiny wee pen That could fit in my wittle-bitty hands Or I get completely overwhelmed By injustice in the world And a red hot anger rushes over me Why isn't there glue for girls?! Well sh*t the bed, women and non-conformist Get yourself to a mortuary Cause you will die when you hear That they make female stationary Shoutout, Rejoice & Let the Happiness Rain Women got the vote, and that was okay But holy cow they made us god damn Female Stationary Do we want control of our bodies? How? To be believe the first time? {raspberries} Untaxed feminine hygiene products? Ew... Gross! The time has come, we've earned our place Let's fu*k sh*t up in Paperchase And all because of god damn fu*kin' Female Stationary And when that big day comes When every woman of the world Is nay burdened by crisps crumbs We will rise up, like a phoenix And hammer through that glass ceiling But I'll have to use my lady hammer Cause my wrists are just so weak And while we're at it, inventor guys There's other things that we need To make our lives much better So come on, help us ladies, pwease Like when I'm in a paddock And I'm riding my horse And I think it's just too wide How about we make some genetically smaller horses That are better for my lady thighs? Or when I'm doing my garden And my hands get sore from the flower planting How about some lady gloves so I can tend to my lady garden? And how about Birds for Women And Gin for Women And Seven more Deadly Sins for Women And please If we ask you nice Can you make them pink? And double the price? The world is changing Now's the time Let's toast with a glass of Lady Wine We've got Little pink pens for a little pink hands And crunch-less crisps So fu*k the man It's a new dawn And new day For women Across the land