Flight Of The Conchords - I'm Not Crying lyrics

So, you're leaving, aren't you? I knew it when you said just then when you told me you were leaving That's when I definitely knew But if you're trying to break my heart Your plan is flawed from the start You can't break my heart, it's liquid It melted when I met you And as you turn around to leave Don't' turn back to me Don't turn around and see if I'm crying I'm not crying I'm not crying It's just been raining On my face And if you think you see some tear tracks down my cheeks Please please, don't tell my mates I'm not crying No, I'm not crying And if I am crying It's not because of you It's because I'm thinking about a friend of mine who you don't know who is dying That's right, dying These aren't tears of sadness because you're leaving me I've just been cutting onions I'm making a lasagna For one Oh, I'm not crying No There's just a little bit of dust in my eye That's from the path that you made when you said your goodbye I'm not weeping because you won't be here to hold my hand For your information there's an inflammation in my tear gland I'm not upset because you left me this way My eyes are just a little sweaty today They've been looking around They're like searching for you They've been looking for you Even though I told them not to These aren't tears of sadness They're tears of joy I'm just laughing Ha ha ha-ha ha