Flanders & Swann - The Rhinoceros lyrics

Oh nobody loves the Rhinoceros much If you ask the reason why They will tell you because of his scaly touch Or his hard and glittering eye; But should you ask a truthful man You will get this quick response: I do not trust that thing on his nose The bodger on his bonce! Oh the bodger on the bonce! The bodger on the bonce! Pity the poor old Rhino with The bodger on the bonce! Yet a sensitive heart the Rhinoceros owns If you doubt it, here's the proof; That thing on his nose is for taking stones Out of a horse's hoof: He seldom, if ever meets a horse (It is this that makes him sad) When he does then it hasn't a stone in its hoof But he would if he did and it had! Oh the bodger on the bonce! The bodger on the bonce! Pity the poor old Rhino with The bodger on the bonce! And just to bring pleasure to those Who like to enjoy the natural scene He picks up litter on his spike To keep the forest clean: And if one day to his habitat For a picnic you should roam He would open a tin should you Have left your opener at home With the bodger on the bonce! The bodger on the bonce! Pity the poor old Rhino with The bodger on the bonce! So treat the Rhinoceros as your friend Though he looks a fearsome sight He amply justifies his end Because his means are right; And ask yourself, would you do as well Fulfilling long-felt wants If nature had endowed you with A Bodger on your bonce? Yes, a Bodger on your bonce? A Bodger on your bonce? If nature had endowed you with A Bodger on your bonce? A Bodger on your bonce? A Bodger on your bonce?