Flanders & Swann - The Gnu lyrics

A year ago, last Thursday I was strolling in the zoo When I met a man who though he knew the lot He was laying down the law about the habits of Baboons And how many quills a porcupine has got So I asked him: 'What's that creature there?' He answered: 'Oh, H'it's a H'elk' I might of gone on thinking that was true If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame And remarked: 'I h'ain't a H'elk. I'm a Gnu!' 'I'm a Gnu, I'm a Gnu The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo I'm a Gnu, How do you do You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho's I'm a Gnu, Spelt G-N-U I'm g-not a Camel or a Kangaroo So let me introduce I'm g-neither man nor moose Oh g-no g-no g-no I'm a Gnu' I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-Sea Whence I travelled on to Ashton-under-Lyne it was actually And the second night I stayed there I was woken from a dream That I'll tell you all about some other time Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed Stuffed and mounted, was a face I thought I knew; A Bison? No, it's not a Bison. An Okapi? Unlikely, Really. A Hartebeest? When I though I heard a voice: 'I'm a Gnu!' I'm a Gnu, ,A g-nother gnu I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you! I'm a Gnu, How do you do You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho I'm a Gnu Spelt G-N-U Call me Bison or Okapi and I'll sue G-nor am I the least Like that dreadful Hartebeest Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no G-no g-no g-no I'm a Gnu G-no g-no g-no I'm a Gnu It's very G-nice of you