Flanders & Swann - Madeira M'Dear lyrics

She was young, she was pure She was new, she was nice She was fair, she was sweet seventeen He was old, he was vile And no stranger to vice He was base, he was bad, he was mean He had slyly inveigled her up to his flat To view his collection of stamps; And he said as he hastened to put out the cat The wine, his cigar, and the lamps: "Have some madeira, m'dear You really have nothing to fear; I'm not trying to tempt you, that wouldn't be right You shouldn't drink spirits at this time of night Have some madeira, m'dear It's so very much nicer than beer I don't care for sherry, one cannot drink stout And port is a wine I can well do without It's simply a case of chacun à son goût — Have some madeira, m'dear!" Unaware of the wiles of the snake in the gra** Of the fate of the maiden who topes She lowered her standards by raising her gla** Her courage, her eyes, and his hopes She sipped it, she drank it She drained it, she did And he quietly refilled it again And he said as he secretly carved one more notch On the bu*t of his gold-handled cane: "Have some madeira, m'dear I've got a small cask of it here And once it's been opened you know it won't keep Do finish it up, it will help you to sleep Have some madeira, m'dear It's really an excellent year Now if it were gin you'd be wrong to say yes: The evil gin does would be hard to a**ess (Besides it's inclined to affect my prowess) Have some madeira, m'dear." Then there flashed through her mind what her mother had said With her ante-penultimate breath: "Oh my child should you look at the wine that is red Be prepared for a fate worse than d**h!" She let go her gla** with a shrill little cry Crash! Tinkle! it fell to the floor When he asked, "What in heaven?" she made no reply Up her mind, and a dash for the door — "Have some madeira, m'dear!" Rang out down the hall loud and clear A tremulous cry that was filled with despair As she paused to take breath in the cool midnight air "Have some madeira, m'dear!" The words seemed to ring in her ear... Until the next morning she woke up in bed With a smile on her lips and an ache in her head And a beard in her earhole that tickled and said: "Have some madeira, m'dear!"