Fjer - More Like You lyrics

In the loneliest hour I'm smaller ...And as I pushed back with seven years of strength To clear my face of the pillow, I feel your weight I remember the wet material 's taste, threads drenched with spit and tears on the case If he put me to rest, then it's here that I'd lay Just as my breath disappears, they peel you away, protesting and smearing your name The resentment and fear and anger contained in your beer ridden gaze Are etched in and seared in my brain, that memory's clear as the day You attempted to seal my fate But I know that you love me Though you tried to drown your son with your sorrows You'd rather choke me than hug me I learned that I was promised nothing tomorrow You were so f**ing ugly, that it gored my mind/ So I hate that your mug is looking more like mine No matter how much I scrub, it's getting worn by time Isn't the irony humbling? Listen, I just don't know how else I'm s'posed to say this But I hated your guts through the 80's and maybe ‘91 at the latest Don't play it like this statement here's belated Cause, there is a type of pain that'll stay with you way into later ages And since anger is the stage that follows denial Well, this phase of bargaining's how I can face you to blame you for these behaviors You're the basis for my values, though I've changed within You still have to appraise the painting by the frame it's in And, the traces are paper thin. The saying is ‘blood is thicker than water' Cause no one can strain or rinse off the sins of the father A major difference from mothers sisters & daughters We're raised to live up to similar bars and yet one's the signature product So the pressure's on you. “The stress is hard!” Cool The lessons start and they're cruel. It's a messy job, but you do it So, let's be honest in full that we'd best acknowledge the truth Our resemblance stopped when you ruined an immense part of my youth Talk when I'm through I live in the fear of - Reflections getting clearer As years go by, I see the proof I look more and more like you More and more like you Oh what a conquest! I'm everything you wish you could be You were always in conflict and distant, so resisting to speak You're an accomplice in bringing out the victim in me No matter what I accomplish - I'm still living with this glint of defeat The issues that seem insistent on clinging from our history is ______ I was the kid you would beat, when pissed at my sisters for things Admittedly, you exhibited clear cut chivalry, here in this scene Couldn't hit them women - who isn't your seed Or whipping on me with a thick metal buckle because I had tripped up my niece Or I misplaced a shoe when fitting to leave Giving me grief, Military steeze discipline Grill to grill like a drill sergeant, bark on a six-year-old, rinse & repeat Or pinning my twisted addiction to sleaze Begins with the pictures & zines you hid, as I leaped, the mattress slid underneath Perhaps the 15 years it took you to visit jilted me Skipped the greeting, dipped and used my crib like a Hilton to sleep For a night, oh that's right, still pissed at my decision to flee The difference between is and isn't just in our genes With limited means, neither quit and the ship didn't sink We're living symbols of the immigrant dream Now, peep the rifts in our symmetry Your story's so tragic - On some Dickens sh** you could lift from a page You thought your father was absent. but your mother stole you off then shipped you away And though you had no examples, And no authority figure to chase You taught your son what a man was, even though you were lost, you'd spin in one place Bitter frustration became centrifugal rage as you flipped your sh** for a chick With 5 kids to her name, you overcommitted, filled up your plate A way to fix what you missed in the case of family A slave to decisions you made at 20 - now with an infant to blame Driven insane. Quick to dismay. Drink yourself to a primitive state I know how addictions limit the pain So, you get your kicks when you stray, It's a vicious cycle decaying your platelets So when you get sick it's your end of days But it isn't, your Mrs. nurses you back to existence, you've changed A new beginning but your ambition's the same I wish you'd quit playing the victim, switch up the aim Live for the day and then rage while it's still in the tank Listen to a son with no children to raise A son who's afraid that his image will mimic mistakes A son who's drifting in space, but inches away, fit with your face Before this sh** gets too late, then listen, this is my forgiveness in spades If you could, erase the things you'd said and done Would you? Or is your only answer to run? Run from my childhood Run from your guilt See how you shattered me and buried yourself My silhouette has been cut from your past I will forgive you - as your face becomes my mask