Father Focus Confucius - The Story Of My Life lyrics

This is the story of my life. I promise not to exaggerate, I promise not to fabricate. ??? ??? let me give it to you real the way it happened. Pulling no punches. Come and take a walk through my world, let's go. Come and take a look inside the mind of Focus, see what I see. Yeah, Lost World So I was raised by a lady with a lot on her plate Paps wasn't there and I felt like the product of hate She'd be up partying late and I'd be in my room trying to sleep Waking up each time a bottle would break And all her friends thought it was funny to give me sips of liquor Now people wonder why I'm sick and bitter But she needed me so I kick it with her Wishing for a different picture, missing out on childhood Around 8 I started drifting quicker Making friends with similar conditions I was getting bigger Paying less attention I was tripping I was quick to this or learning how to twist a switch Or flip a zip and mag ?? Lost little boy but that isn't even half of it "What would you do if you knew too. Oh what would you do if I told you the story of my life?" Grandma tried her best to help but couldn't understand me And there was a division in the family 'Cause mom had her demons and I guess that they were tired of helping her up And then I came along and made it worse Hey yo it hurts but I numbed the pain with various addictions A heavy cross to bear the boy was carrying it with him Faced the scariest decisions with a steady hand And I remember when nobody but the therapist would listen Just a kid and still I lived to die preparing for collision 'Cause they said the only thing ahead was burial or prison And I learned from mom how to beat the load was getting high But I couldn't understand at why at night she'd sit and cry That's what happens when you live a lie And she knew that she pa**ed it to her precious little ba*tard And she loved me so much, but so what I turned the stereo up and blasted I was ready for a casket I wasn't ready to grow up "What would you do if you knew too. Oh what would you do if I told you the story of my life?" My addictions got worse, mom started to beat hers But now she's got cancer, doctors trying to treat her Nathan died, Deck died, I attempted suicide Wondering if they found my body tomorrow who would cry And who am I to make these people miss me when I know I'm leaving I got a letter, my grandma's having trouble breathing I got a warrant, I'm out here on the hustle creeping I got a gun and I will use it for no f**ing reason But momma got clean, before she left me she said Jesse I believe in you It only got this heavy so that you could be a stronger man And when my grandma pa**ed I said damn the past I'm gonna make 'em proud again, I'm ready Now I'm older and I know that I owe it to them to grow So I had to knock the chip off my shoulder and let it go I put my soul into my flow and then I pour it in the mic I'm just telling you the story of my life