Family Guy - Full Theme Song lyrics

[Lois] It seems today That all you see Is violence and movies And s** on TV [Peter] But where are those good old fashioned values? On which we used to rely? [Brian] It used to be A big time star Was Elegant as Garbo Or Hedy Lamarr [Stewie] But now we got who*es like Jenny Lopez You want to curl up and die [Chorus] Lucky there's a family guy Lucky there's a man who positively can do All the things that make us [Stewie] Laugh and cry [Chorus] He's a family guy [Lois] When I was young The songs were fair With Mister Johnny Mathis And Sonny and Cher [Peter] But now we got Justin Timber-h*mo [Lois] A heartache all gone awry [Brian] The cla**ic films Were works of arts The images were graceful The stories were smart [Stewie] But now we get Matrix Revolution I'm sorry I know this doesn't rhyme But what the hell were you Wachowski Brothers thinking?! [Chorus] Lucky there's a family guy Lucky there's a fella Sweeter than vanilla Wholesome as a piece of [Stewie] Apple pie [Chorus] He's a family guy! [Lois] His smiles a simple delight [Chris] He lets me see the b**bies on the internet sites [Lois] Peter! [Meg] He bought my cute little hat [Brian] Yeah we should talk about that (About that! And his hat!) He mastered the comedy arts [Stewie] He says, "Look out Hiroshima!" then casually farts [Lois] He's loaded with s**y appeal [Peter] And best of all my titties are real. Have a feel [Brian] No thank you [Stewie] I gave it the office [Lois] The Brady Bunch Has got their Mike And pretty Laura Petrie Has Dicky Van Dyke [Peter] But who around here could fill these loafers? But here's a happy reply [Chorus] Lucky there's a family guy Lucky there's a man who positively can do All the things that make us [Stewie] Laugh and cry [Chorus] He's...a...fam...ily...guy!