Ezra Tefera - Lost lyrics

[Verse] Sometimes I wonder what this would be like If I never reached down and picked up a mic 8 with a lot on my plate Mama was stressing, my pops bout to break Brother & sisters was in their rooms playing, I'll never forget what I thought on that day Watching them go through the stack of bills by the door & wonder just how they would pay Watching my mama cry That left me traumatized All cause of wallet size The economy s**ed & then trying to finding a job was like Searching for a needle in a haystack The way my pop worked was ridiculous Then went to school at night, got stressed out, came home yelling "God am I sick of this! I just keep stressing & yelling, I'm hurting inside Am I gon work till I die? Am I gon get early curtains cause my blood pressure rose, I am certain that I can do better than this!" So young but I still saw the hurt in his eyes, the burden & strife They ain't deserving this life They'd argue, I heard em at night I cried & I felt so useless like man Accident child, I ruined their plans In my room drawing up stupid lil plans All I wanted was a tool in my hands Wanted to go sell an O in the street But no one would front me the tree No one would front me a key No one was running w me Wanted to up & just leave School full of rich kids & that made me feel even more alone All this stuff we couldn't afford to own These people never needed mortgage loans & I ain't need the money for me I wanted to put my parents in a gorgeous home And throw em 2 sets of the keys Tell em "Don't worry bout a thing, it's yours to own" [Hook] I lost myself along the way in who I thought you were to me I lost myself along the way God, I'm falling, that's why I'm calling you Could you help me find my way? I lost myself along the way [Outro] Lost and you just can't save me This is the life that I know & it made me This is why I can't commit to her lately This is why music is the only thing that makes me whole Walking in the rain & cold to a Walmart after school for a 9 hour shift Just to make it home 11 at night, then homework, then cla** at 8 in the morn Gotta make music on top of that, can't call fam cause I'm drinking now But when I lay down to sleep, I promise you're all that I think about [Family Christmas celebration]