My computer thinks I'm gay I threw that piece of junk away On the Champs-Élysées As I was walking home This is my last communiqué Down the superhighway All that I have left to say in a single tome [Hook] I got too many friends Too many people that I'll never meet And I'll never be there for I'll never be there for Cause I'll never be there If I could give it all away Will it come back to me someday? Like a needle in the hay or an expensive stone I got a reason to declaim The applications are to blame For all my sorrow and my pain A feeling so alone [Hook x2] My computer thinks I'm gay What's the difference anyway When all the people do all day Is stare into a phone [Hook x2] I'll never be there [x4]