[LUIS CARRUTHERS, spoken] Holy sh**. [LUIS CARRUTHERS] Magnificent... [CRAIG MCDERMOTT] Impressive... [DAVID VAN PATTEN] So thick... [TIMOTHY PRICE] And yet so light. [LUIS CARRUTHERS] The lettering [PAUL OWEN] Romalian. [CRAIG MCDERMOTT] The stock? [PAUL OWEN] It's eggshell white. Don't take chances in the game; it matters what you've drawn. The question's not what's in a name, but what it's printed on. [ALL] Oh, baby baby, You're such a card. You make it look oh-so-easy When I know it's f**in' hard. Oh, baby baby, This can't be right. How I love your surfaces How I love your tie [PAUL OWEN] The impression that you make [PATRICK BATEMAN] He thinks that I'm a fake. [PAUL OWEN] Is always in your hands. [PATRICK BATEMAN] Does he know who I am? [PAUL OWEN] Either Constantia [PATRICK BATEMAN] He says "nice to see ya" [PAUL OWEN] Or Comic Sans. [PATRICK BATEMAN] But doesn't shake my hand. [PAUL OWEN] In the corporate coliseum [PATRICK BATEMAN] Everyone that he meets... [PAUL OWEN] The crowd calls for a showman. [PATRICK BATEMAN] They want to get to know him. [PAUL OWEN] My font, [PATRICK BATEMAN] He's cut from... [PAUL OWEN] Imperial, [PATRICK BATEMAN] Nice material... [PAUL OWEN] Yours, Times New Roman. [PATRICK BATEMAN] I ain't no Willy Loman. [ALL] Oh, baby baby, It's really not that hard. You'll find that when you get it right, A deal's made with a card. Oh, baby baby, You're such a card. You make it look oh-so-easy When I know it's f**in' hard. [PATRICK BATEMAN] Oh, baby baby, I'll concede the game. You played your hand well today, But soon you'll know my name