Somebody's moggy by the side of the road Somebody's p**y who forgot his highway code Someone's favorite feline who ran clean out of luck When he ran on to the road and tried to argue with a truck Yesterday he purred and played in his p**y paradise Decapitating tweety birds and masticating mice Now he's just six pounds of raw mincemeat that don't smell very nice He's nobody's moggy now All you who love your p**y be sure to keep him in Don't let him argue with a truck, the truck is bound to win And upon the busy road, don't let him play or frolic If you do I'm warning you it could be catastrophic If he tries to play on the roadway, I'm afraid that will be that There will be one last despairing meow! And a sort of squelchy splat And your p**y will be slightly dead and very, very flat He's nobody's moggy, just red and squashed and soggy He's nobody's moggy now