The lawns grow plush in the hinterlands The perfect little setting for the one night stands The drapes are drawn and the lights are out It's the time to put in practice what you've dreamed about Well she can show you what you must do To be more like people better than you And amateur hour goes on and on And when you turn pro you know She'll let you know And amateur hour goes on and on And when you turn pro You know she tells you so Girls grow tops to go topless in While we sit and count the hairs that blossom from our chins Our voices change at a rapid pace I could start a song a tenor and then end as ba** So choose your partners everyone If you hesitate the good ones are gone Amateur hour goes on and on Dance, laugh, wine Dine and talk and sing But those cannot replace what is the real thing It's a lot like playing the violin You cannot start off and be Yehudi Menuhin So Amateur hour goes on and on