Enter The Haggis - The Mexican Scotsman lyrics

Jose, get your bagpipes And head down to the square Seranade the pa**ers-bye And you'll make some money there Jose came to this country Looking for a chance To make some decent money To buy a pair of pants But we were in recession And jobs were far and few So Jose took his bagpipes And did what he had to do Dressed in his Sombrero and Kilt With his bagpipes and maracas Playing away for his supper Boiled haggis with nachos One day while he was basking A pretty young la**ie came by She said "Jose, take s troll with me" Says Jose, "Si! Si! Och' 'Aye!" They spent the day together Then she took him to a dance Well, Jose moved most gracefully 'Cause he wasn't wearing pants And he was born in Mexico City Educated in Scotland In sandals and bright tartan pancho Jose's fashion statement was not planned But when Jose went to the men's room There was trouble close at hand Cause in came Bob, the sailor man The roughest man in the land Says Bob, "You're lookin' pretty In your little tartan dress Now you'd best be off to the ladies room 'fore I pummels you into a mess" Now you could have heard a pin drop As Jose tongued around His scottish-mexican blood began to boil And it made this kind of sound... And when it all was over Sailor Bob lay on the floor He looked the saddest sorry wreck Ever blown a shore Now, the sailors keep a lookout Whenever they're on the land For they knows well that they doesn't mess With a Scottish Mexican man!