[Hook] That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm back) I'm back (I'm back) I'm back (Slim Shady) [Verse 1] I murder a rhyme, one word at a time You never heard of a mind as perverted as mine You better get rid of that 9, it ain't gonna help What good's it gonna do against a man that strangles himself? I'm waiting for Hell, like hell, sh**, I'm anxious as hell Manson, you're safe in that cell, be thankful it's jail I used to be my mommy's little angel at twelve Thirteen I was putting shells in a gauge on a shelf I used to get punked and bullied on my block 'Til I cut a kitten's head off and stuck it in this kid's mailbox I used to give a f**, now I could give a f** less What do I think of success? It s**s, too much press I'm stressed, too much cess, depressed, too upset It's just too much mess, I guess I must just blew up quick (yes) Grew up quick (no) was raised right Whatever you say is wrong, whatever I say is right You think of my name now whenever you say hi Became a commodity because I'm W-H-I- -T-E, ‘cause MTV was so friendly to me Can't wait 'til Kim sees me Now, is it worth it? Look at my life, how is it perfect? Read my lips, b**h! What, my mouth isn't workin'? You hear this finger? Oh, it's upside down Here, let me turn this motherf**er up right now [Hook] That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm back) I'm back (I'm back) I'm back (Slim Shady) [Verse 2] I take each individual degenerate's head and reach into it Just to see if he's influenced by me, if he listens to music And if he feeds into this sh**, he's an innocent victim And becomes a puppet on the string of my tennis shoe {*vocal scratches*} My name is Slim Shady I been crazy way before radio didn't play me The sensational {*vocal scratch "Back is the incredible!"*} With Ken Kaniff, who just finds the men edible It's Ken Kaniff on the Internet Tryin' to lure your kids with him into bed It's a sick world we live in these days "Slim, for pete's sakes, put down Christopher Reeve's legs!" Geez, you guys are so sensitive "Slim, it's a touchy subject, try and just don't mention it" Mind with no sense in it, fried schizophrenic Whose eyes get so squinted, I'm blind from smoke in 'em With my windows tinted, with nine limos rented Doing lines of coke in 'em With a bunch of guys hopping out, all high and indo scented And that's where I get my name from, that's why they call me [Hook] That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm back) I'm back (I'm back) I'm back (Slim Shady) [Verse 3: Eminem] I take seven [kids] from [Columbine], stand 'em all in line Add an AK-47, a revolver, a 9 A MAC-11 and it oughta solve the problem of mine And that's a whole school of bullies shot up all at one time ‘Cause (I'mmmm) Shady, they call me as crazy As the world was over this whole Y2K thing And by the way, N'Sync, why do they sing? Am I the only one who realizes they stink? Should I dye my hair pink and care what y'all think Lip sync and buy a bigger size of earrings? It's why I tend to block out when I hear things ‘Cause all these fans screaming is making my ears ring (AHH) So I just throw up a middle finger and let it linger Longer than the rumor that I was sticking it to Christina ‘Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz It'd be Jennifer Lopez and Puffy, you know this I'm sorry Puff, but I don't give a f** If this chick was my own mother I'd still f** her with no rubber and cum inside her And have a son and a new brother at the same time And just say that it ain't mine, what's my name? [Hook] That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm back) I'm back (I'm back) I'm back (Slim Shady) [Eminem {*vocal scratching*}] Guess who's b-back, back Gue-gue-guess who's back (hi, mom) {*scratch*} Guess who's back {*scratch*} Gue {*scratch*} guess who's back D-12 {*scratch*} Guess who's back Gue, gue-gue-gue, guess who's back Dr. Dre {*scratch*} Guess who's back Back back {*scratch*} back {*scratch*} Slim Shady, 2001 I'm blew out from this blunt (*sighs*) f**