Endless Jess - Butt Chugger lyrics

Well let me tell you a tale From when I was young When my bu*t was smooth But my mood was glum I didn't fit in with the other children I was weird, had a beard and down syndrome I was tall for my age, 6 foot 10 Gettin' picked on, never had a single friend On the short bus home, sittin' in the back Every day alone with my donkey dong wrapped Around my waist, tugged in my bu*t Where it was safe from the bugs on my nuts Dirty old clothes and I smelled like farts bu*t ripped apart leaking so I had to plug it shut Got home rubbed my bu*t on the rug Watching cartoons scratching my caboose like a pug It burnt my skin 'till a man walked in With a skim milk jug and he taught me how to chug Now, I had never met this man before But he looked like a god from down on the floor He had a windbreaker on with the rip away pants And he broke that wind with the hip break dance He was spinning on his head like a top Legs spread like a chopper as he slowed down to stop He filled his bu*t to capacity Then he farted and it rained down back at me Like a crazy daisy spurting milk out Everywhere while his hairy legs flapped about Showering me with the creamy white potion Then he rubbed my bu*t with lotion Taught me how to be cool like him And promised me no matter what, we'd always be friends Thanks bu*t Chugger I love you Well he's one-up for the bu*t chug man Hear the jingle coming from the bu*t chug van Here comes the bu*t chug man With a bottle of rum and a funnel in his hand So I went back to school, I felt a lot better bu*t Chugger came along in a thong and a sweater He parked his van on the recess playground Played his little jingle and the kids gather all around Then, just as I had anticipated They were all blown away as the chugger demonstrated Soon all the kids started dropping their pants Slappin' their bu*ts together in a trance Chuggin' their milk, chug one chug all! I even saw one kid using a straw They raised me up Hip-Hip Hooray! I was popular at last what a wonderful day The children got down from the slides and swings And bowed on the ground to the bu*t chug king And then The bu*t Chugger marched And as he stomped his feet we marched behind To the bu*t chug beat in an orderly line All through the town, with our pants down Milk running down our thighs dripping to the ground He was using his funnel as a megaphone Saying: chug with your bu*t and you'll never chug alone! We were saving the world goo steppin' through the streets We didn't even hear the sirens of the police Well he's one-up for the bu*t chug man Hear the jingle coming from the bu*t chug van Here comes the bu*t chug man With a bottle of rum and a funnel in his hand Well many years pa**ed since that sad day When they took my friend bu*t Chugger away He was left to rot in a tiny cell My mom and pop said he'd burn in hell They didn't understand, parents never do I stopped bu*t chugging 'cause they told me to For most kids I guess it had seemed like a dream I was the last one who still believed Through high-school all the way through college They took me to a therapist who said: we can't allow this Suppressed my delusions and silenced my stories With antidepressants and mood suppositories I was finally functioning normally But on the inside I was just back to being lonely I went to parties and I stood in the corner Feeling like an outcast, and a loner All of the sudden, out of the corner of my eye A man waved high, a familiar guy Could it be? No way, it couldn't be The doctor warned me about things I shouldn't see I looked around, nowhere to be found, I was sweating' Feeling like there's something in my past I'm forgettin' "I need a change of setting" so I docked into the bathroom And there he was in the same blue track suit With the snaggletooth, mustache and hat tube Bulgin' his rip aways pointed right at you I could've cried, I recognized my friend He was back, "we can chug once again" Suddenly everything became clear I realized I was looking in the mirror Damn, now I understand It's time to get this party chuggin' I came out and hit the lights, with some Listerine Stood on my head and said: It's time to get the pipes clean! It's time to party, bottoms up let's chug! Everybody rub your bu*ts on the rug! Get'em ripped run loose then sploosh some lotion On each other's caboose form a party locomotion Then flip around and get clean with the Listerine Rinse, repeat, get stair locked feet Like monkey's in a barrel we're a team, victory is sweet It's a miracle on bu*t chug street Now we're all together, now we're all a family Time to take the party to another galaxy The movie shown John's come on a snuck queer Put the beer pong and your beer is not wrong here I'll be cheering you one don't get annoyed Pay respect to your rectal cavity CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! Chug it up your bu*t, yeah that's good CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! You did it! We all knew you could! And now I go To wherever I'm needed To spread the word bu*t chuggin' is in season If you need me I'll be there for you Cuz I'm the bu*t chugger Cody LaRue Cody LaRue is the bu*t chugger He's gonna make you his bu*t chug brother Cody LaRue is the bu*t chugger He's gonna make you his bu*t chug brother Cody LaRue is the bu*t chugger He's gonna make you his bu*t chug brother Cody LaRue is the bu*t chugger He's gonna make you his bu*t chug brother Cody LaRue is the bu*t chugger He's gonna make you his bu*t chug brother Cody LaRue is the bu*t chugger He's gonna make you his bu*t chug brother Cody LaRue is the bu*t chugger He's gonna make you his bu*t chug brother Cody LaRue is the bu*t chugger He's gonna make you his bu*t chug brother Cody LaRue is the bu*t chugger He's gonna make you his bu*t chug brother Cody LaRue is the bu*t chugger He's gonna make you his bu*t chug brother Cody LaRue is the bu*t chugger He's gonna make you his bu*t chug brother Cody LaRue is the bu*t chugger He's gonna make you his bu*t chug brother Cody LaRue is the bu*t chugger He's gonna make you his bu*t chug brother