Empty Hats - A Toast To Love And Marriage lyrics

When I was just a lad, me mum said "Darlin' Paddy So's you won't be sad someday you'll want to marry It's time we had this chat on how to find a wife for you Old, young, skinny, or fat, the best to make a life for you Just seek a girl with charms, like Venus but with arms To keep your bed all warm and happily married will you be It's how I caught your dad, me beauty drove him mad And now you see he's had these many years of marital bliss and harmony." Raise your gla**es high and toast to love and marriage We'll never understand 'til they slide our coffins from the carriage Whack-fe-lol-da-rah But then I turned fourteen, me pa said, "Darlin' Paddy I'll teach you the routine to find the girl to marry You'll have the benefit of all me experience In a relationship of lasting joy and permanence Just marry an ugly girl, the oyster not the pearl The ugliest in the world, 'cause a bonny la** could leave ya I'm telling you now, me son, it's the reason I married your mum So do as I have done, if an ugly girl, she leaves you You'll find you don't really mind." Raise your gla**es high and toast to love and marriage We'll never understand 'til they slide our coffins from the carriage Whack-fe-lol-da-rah So's I've grown up a bit confused, love was such a bother Courted pretty girls, and some that looked like me mother So Mom and dear old Dad, the words to me you've spoken I feel that I've been had, me heart is always broken When I thought Id found true love, and I'm thanking God above Push it came to shove and I'm back out on me bum again I'm telling you lads it's true, no longer will I woo Me heart is black and blue, I'll leave this game of love to you I'm going off to become a priest! Raise your gla**es high and toast to love and marriage We'll never understand 'til they slide our coffins from the carriage Raise your gla**es high and toast to love and marriage We'll never understand 'til they slide our coffins from the carriage Whack-fe-lol-da-rah