Eminem - Crimirnal lyrics

[Intro] Alot of people ask me, Stupid f**ing questions, alot of people think that, what i say on record, or what i talk abouton the record, that i actually, do in real life, or that i believe in it, or if i say i wanna k** somebody that, im actually gonna do it or that i believe in it bull sh**, if you believe that, then i'll k** you [Laughs] ya know why? cause im a CRIMINAL CRIMINAL youre goddamn right im a CRIMINAL yeah im a CRIMINAL [Verse 1] My words are like a dagger wit a jagged edge that'll stab you in da head whether youre a f*g or les or the h*mos**, hermpah, or a trans-a-vest, pants or dress: hate f*gs: the answers yes h*mophobic nah you just heterophobic starin at my jeans wathcin my genitals boulgin [ooh] thats my muthaf**in balls, you betta let go of 'em, they belong in my scrotum youll never get ahold of 'em [haha] hey its me Resache, WHOOPS somebody shot me, and i was just checkin the mail, get it checkin the male [tounge clicks] how many record you expectin' to sell after your 2nd LP sends you directly to jail C'mon relax guys i like gay men right ken gimmie an amen [aaaaaamen] please lod this boy needs jesus heal this child; help us destroy these demons, oh, and please send me a brand new car and a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital Preacher Preacher 5th grade teacher you cant reach me my mom cant neither [nope] you cant teach me a goddamn thing cause, i watch T.V. and Comcast cable and you aint able ta stop these thoughts and you cant stop me from toppin these charts and you cant stop me from droppin each March; with a brand new CD for these f**ing retards[duhhr] and da think, its just lil' old me Mr. dont give a f** still wont leave [Chorus x2] I'ma CRIMINAL cause every time i write a rhyme these people think its a crime to tell em whats on my mind I guess I'ma CRIMINAL I dont gotta say a word I just flip em the bird and keep goin' I dont take sh** from no one I'ma CRIMINAL [Verse 2] My mother did d**: hard liqor, cigarettes and speed the baby came out disfigured ligaments indeed it was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she dont dare make fun of dat baby cause that baby was me I'ma CRIMINAL an animal caged will turned crazed but how the f** you 'sposed da grow up when ya werent raised so as i got older and i got alot taller, my dick shrunk smaller but my balls got larger I'll drink more liqor da f** you up quicker than you'd wanna f** me up for sayin da word N***** My morals went [fart noise] when the president got oral s** in his oval office on top of his desk with mark his own employee now dont ignore me you wont avoid me you cant miss me im white, blonde hair and my nose is pointy im the bad guy, who makes fun of people that die in plane crashes and laughs as long as it aint happen da him Slim Shady im as crazy as em-inem and kim combined [buzz] the maniac's in replacin the doctor cause dre. couldnt make it today he's a little under the weather so im takin his place oh thats dre. wit and ak to his face, dont make me k** him to and spray his brains all over the place i told you dre. you should've kept that thing put away i guess that'll teach you not to let me play wit it ay [Interlude skit] Dre: ite look just go up to dat muthaf**er, get the muthaf**in money and get the f** up outta there Eminem: Ite Dre: Aiyyo Em Eminem: Whaaat Dre: Dont k** nobody dis time Eminem: ite ,goddamn what the f** emienem [whistling] Clerk:Hi Eminem: How you doin. I need to make a withdraw Clerk: OK Eminem: Put the f**ing money in the bag b**h and i wont k** you Clerk:Dont k** me Eminem: I said i wasnt gonna f**ing k** you Quit lookin around Hurry the f** up [GUNSHOT]THANK YOU [Verse 3] Windows tinted on my ride when i drive in it so when i rob a bank run out and just dive in it so when the guys in it and if anyone identifies the guy in it i'll hide for 5 minutes come back, shoot the eye witness fire at the private eye who fired me from my business Die b**hes, ba*tards, brats pets, this puppy's lucky i didnt blast his a** yet if i ever gave a f** i'd shave my nuts tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck you motherf**ing chickens aint brave enough to say the stuff i say so just tape it shut sh** half the sh** i say i just make it up to make you mad so kiss my white naked a** and if it's not a rapper that i'll make it as I'ma be a f**ing rapist in a jason mask [Chorus x4]