Elro - Warm Up Session lyrics

[Spoken] First off, uh, shout out to Dan White Derulo Shout out to anyone from Brunel Uni And, anyone from Chepstow My name's Elro [Section 1] I'm like an undercover cop, in bed, I'm undercover double I'm undiscovered in rubble and only trouble is that I keep staring in space, they call me Hubble Like a co*kney in the bath with a bong, I'm having a bubble They say I'm blocking, I'm table topping, I'm mocking I'm mopping the floor for pills and sh**, Then I'm dropping Un-metaphorically though, I'm like a boffin, I'm boffing sh** the thought of a f*g got me coughin', now I'm in a coffin Underlyin', I'm lying, I'm lying under my bed I'm lying under the guillotine while they're giving me head I'm like chlamydia bu*ter, coz I'm easily spread I'm like a kid named Ed, coz my eyes are red Tryin' to have a quick session, I'm messin' Don't have a session when your mum's in the house, learned my lesson Back to subject, I burn the bestin If you want a toke on my spliff, need investment I want to kick it with Rik Waller, and let him lick the Sauce off a virgin's legs, I'm cherry lickin' I'm sicker than playing cricket with real stumps as wickets I'm in love with a mouse named Minnie, but I'll take the Mickey A couple of people told me my sh** was offensive So I stabbed them and put their heads on my fences I told them understand a joke is a joke And if they weren't so dense, then maybe I wouldn't get so defensive I'm like a new born child, coz I'm a big tit s**er Like a man named Freud coz I'm a clever motherf**er This is the warm-up for SB TV If you want to see more just search me... [Section 2] Coz I'm a chilled out drunk when I drink right And I'm aware of the fact my body ain't built for the fight night But it gives me the chance to relax and forget the fact I'm tall and white But a bottle of vodka neat later I keep drinking that ego inflator I start thinking I'm Brad Pitt Only less chiseled and more tragic I start texting my ex's I'm lying, I wish I had ex's I'm texting girls that I wanna to have s** with It's 3am and I won't stop pesting: Hey you, it's three in the morning, I'm thinking about you Only reason I'm drinking is about you So come here and have s** with me Please I'm begging you! No text back now I'm cringing Wondering why I keep whinging Coz a day goes by and I don't look back And I'm gonna go back to the binging It's a strange thing, but I've just started fingering Got a smell on my finger's that lingering Sick of small talk girls just mingling' Just give me the s**, my co*ks tingling Anyway, back the girl them serious Come round girls, chill with a beer with us We got condoms, lubricant here with us Watch Black Hawk Down, cry tears with us We got a big TV with a HD input, wild life documentary Serious, here with us Watching a meerkat move on a HD screen is mysterious Wait, now my phone's vibrating I got a text from that girl I was dating Well, when I say dating I mean, looking on her Facebook and masturbating Went to Tesco to buy some chicken Found a girl so I stuck my dick in Ended up in the back fruit aisle The cops turned up, I said I'm just cherry picking Got head on plane after take-off, found a girl So I got her to take off, all her clothes, then she said shown up! I'm a terrorist, either way I'm getting blown up Coz my head's f**ed up off of Ritalin, my diet consisted of vodka and vitamins Some people think I'm mad coz I'm giggling But given the chance I'd choose head over Ketamine Listen, we're approaching age when Doesn't matter whether your black or Asian Doesn't matter whether your flow's amazing If you're a white kid from wales, you feel caged in That's the reason the Facebook kids, so I can look at all the fit girl's tits Have a little click through their holiday pics You might think that I sound quite sick... Screwed up from a couple d** like the crack I'll be back with a back pack strapped to my back Fulla vitamins, Niacin, Biotin, dealing the pills but like vitamin C and things Coz I'm middle cla** junkie I got a mate looks just like a monkey Might sound like an arbitrary rhyme but It doesn't bother me, I'm just part time People telling me my bars just random, 2 goats on a bike, that's random, tandem Put em on a sunbed, randomly tan them, then you've seen randem, mandem I wanna kick it with the richest b**hes I'll get them drunk and take pictures, which is A bit creepy I know, but I'll risk it, I've flicked more beans than a spark has switches Girls go for the gangster's right like, drive-bys in the middle of the night So I tried one and then I got hit by a fright, Boris Johnson had cost me 6.99! That's a lot for congestion, so as a gangster I asked him a question Wrote him a letter with a couple of suggestions Privatize all the public sections "Dear Boris I am writing (Well I'm on a PC so I'm actually typing) And as a gangster I'm hyping About 6.99 for a lap in a drive by These fees you're creating and making are taking the piss and my heads aching, I'm stating I got a hard time with the dating And I get less gash than a monk in Beijing" [Spoken] My Name's Elro, just give me a search: Elro Raps