Elhae - Curtains lyrics

[Verse 1] Not really myself or haven't been for a while In the front of my house smoking a black and mild I swear the other day I almost ended it all Like 45 minutes after we ended that call You told me that I was dealing with it better than you I was dying but I was just happy to know it was you My friends say it's like suicide That I really can't get over you and I And life was so much different in my head about six years ago Maybe I'm just tripping, crying out, but you don't hear me though Got so many issues on my mind that cause these tears to flow You disappear and go, that's what cause my fears to grow I wonder who would really miss me, like genuinely miss me Do I matter at all? Does anyone want to see me get to sixty? Ha, sorry for the transparency, I can only be real I bleed like you, I think like you I definitely feel, I'm just human In my room thinking about life I think about more the wrongs I've done, more than I think about rights I think about more the lows I've seen, more than I think about highs I think I deserve to be happy, cause I'm a genuine person that tries I know when it's crazy, all of my friends is having their babies I feel like life is pa**ing me by, feel like I'm going straight crazy It's deeper than what you know stop going off the surface Hoping that you'll be here right next to me when they close the curtains [Interlude] [Verse 2] Really surprised that I'm alive Remembering conversations I had with God As I sat and listened he told me what's mine is mine I'm learning to be patient and shut up from time to time I got some questions, so I'mma call her Mr. Clam what's up with your daughter? Sorry to bother, but I know that she listens to her father Maybe you can talk to her, cause I feel like the sewer Thinking that if I should pursue her, further Further more, hoes text me when they not sober Asking if they can come over Asking me if I'm a smoker Light a L, blow it, roll it, smoke another, that ain't me I'm just trying rid the pain Told her I ain't trying to be, I just need My baby, my lady I need some time to think I'm growing up so fast, things get different when I blink I know it's just a phase but right now I can't seem to breathe Thinking that love ain't no emotion, it's a real disease I know, we rush back and don't know exactly what life is But I'm here and I'll have your back through any one of your crisis Don't never stress, ever worry Your feelings to me is priceless Please say something, please say something I'm sick and tired of your silence While I'm sitting inside of my car Four in the morning, looking at the stars I think about you when I think of the stars But more of how you feeling and how you are Look, it's deeper than what you know, stop going off the surface Hoping that you'll be here right next to me when they close the curtains