Efficient - Nightmare 2 lyrics

I awake screaming Im losing my mind At the mirror like Who is this guy? This life sh** I ain't doing right I see a bible And I move it aside f** that Its not truth it is lies God is grace is As foolish as I am You're gonna tell me Getting bruised in my eyes Is Gods will and I should be Choosing his side Most kids are Cruising on by f**ing around Amusing their lives Well Im getting Abused every night Teachers knew it So they accused all my lies They told me to fight So I hit back Cause the more that I cried The more Id get smacked The more Id get smacked The more my lips cracked The more my lips cracked The more my friends laughed So f** it Id think about the edge Id think about the times That he'd drown my head Im screaming under water AHH how is this? You're the one whose supposed To crown my head Im scared For when he'd should again And Gods just another guy To let me down again But somewhere in the midst I found the gift That said " Son there is love that you're surrounded in" "Your struggles will help ya Lift the people You're stronger since you Once lived in evil Spread your message and You'll live in peace" so I wait to rap on Pins and needles I awake screaming Im losing my mind I see all these guys who've Ruined their lives My friends All these humans are dying Writing this record Is proving Im trying I write for you I write for Hip Hop Live my life twice To sit in this spot The story is true I got my sh** knocked Its all love though Dad's Consider it squashed