Edward Hirsch - My Father's Back lyrics

My Father's Back There's an early memory that I carry around In my mind like an old photography in my wallet, little graying and faded, a picture That I don't much like but nonetheless keep, Fingering it now and then like a sore tooth, Knowing it there, not needing to see it anymore.... The sun slants down on the shingled roof. The wind breathes in the needled pines. And I am lying in the gra** on my third birthday, Red-faced and watchful but not squalling yet, Not yet rashed or hived up from eating the wrong food Or touching the wrong plant, my father's leaving. A moment before he was holding me up Like a new trophy, and I was a toddler With my face in the clouds, spinning around With a head full of stars, getting so dizzy. A moment before I was squealing with joy In the tilt-a-whirl of his arms, Drifting asleep in the cavern of his chest.... I remember waking up to the twin peaks Of his shoulders moving away, a shirt clinging To his ma**ive body, a mountain receding. I remember the giant distance between us: A drop or two rain, a sheen on the lawn, And then I was sitting up in the grainy half-light Of a man walking away from his family. I don't know why we go over the old hurts Again and again in our minds, the false starts And true beginnings of a world we call the past, As if it could tell us who we are now, Or were, or might have been.... It's drizzling. A car door slams, just once, and he's gone. Tiny pools of water glisten on the street. --Edward Hirsch