Eddz - Kroll Show Character Database lyrics

Bobby Bottleservice Robert Bruschia, a.k.a. Bobby B, a.k.a Bottle Bottleservice is one of several characters to make appearances outside the show before it existed, mainly on the podcast Comedy Bang! Bang! and on Kroll's special Thank You Very Cool. A parody of douchey Jersey Shore type Long Island guidos, Bobby's notable traits include his extreme love of his mother, often crying just at the mention of her, and his odd way of speaking, often putting words and phrases in sentences that are "very much" out of place and unnecessary to the sentence itself. Bobby has gone through several phases on the show. In the first season, he, along with his sidekick Peter Paparazzo (played by Jon Daly) are "Ghost Bouncers" in a parody of the show "Ghost Hunters". In the second season he & Peter are out of money, and become gigolos. When another gigolo, played by Jason Mantzoukas, tells them that they're on his turf, the three decide to join together and form a gigolo house, where Bobby lives until he's kicked out in the premiere of season 3. Bobby also appears to be in love with Farley, played by Chelsea Peretti, a singer who makes up for her lack of talent by sleeping with whoever she thinks can help her singing career. She was interested in Bobby until she found out he wasn't a major record producer, though deep down she may feel for him more than she says. An introduction to Bobby Bottleservice George St. Geegland & Gil Faizon (a.k.a. the "Oh Hello" guys) George St. Geegland (played by John Mulaney) and Gil Faizon (Kroll), known for their catchphrase "Oh Hello" (said in unison) are two old Jewish men from Manhattan. Like Bobby Bottleservice, they also appeared outside the show originally, most notably on Comedy Bang! Bang! and in Kroll's special Thank You Very Cool. They host the public access prank show "Too Much Tuna", where they prank people by replacing whatever food they ordered with a sandwich that has too much tuna. Their sketches on the show are divided into clips from Too Much Tuna, and Woody Allen like sketches that follow them in their daily lives. Gil is the clingier and more oblivious of the two, where George is meaner and more s**ually threatening. The two are also both very out of touch (Gil compares their show to "Ashram Kitchem's Prank'd") and casually racist. They also have several medical issues each (ex. George's skin peels "like wallpaper"). While early sketches focused mostly on their prank show and their lives in the city, in the third season the two leave New York to prank people with Too Much Tuna on the road, and end up on a Naked and Afraid like survival show. An introduction to George & Gil Liz & Liz Liz (played by Jenny Slate) a.k.a. "Pretty Liz" and Liz (Kroll) a.k.a. "Big Liz" or, "Liz" both run the PR firm PubLIZity ("It's based off our names"). The pair are vapid, rude, self-centered and not very good at their jobs, though they do seem to care for each other. They are especially notable for their exaggerated, at times almost unintelligible (they've been subtitled before despite them speaking English) way of speaking, especially on their catchphrase ("Ameezing", "Oh My Goid", "Whaiyt?") The two experienced a change in their dynamic when C-Czar (who appears later on this list) impregnates Pretty Liz (a fact Big Liz repeatedly forgets). In the third season, when Pretty Liz fails to notice Big Liz's bangs, Big Liz goes off to live with several gold miners (of course on a reality TV show) An introduction to Liz & Liz Dr. Armond Armond is an animal plastic surgeon who gets his own reality TV show, "Armond of the House" produced by Liz & Liz. Armond is notable for, after many plastic surgeries himself, his motionless face. He can only raise his eyebrows, which he does often when telling jokes. This motionless is expressed in his attitude, as seemingly nothing phases or affects Armond emotionally one way or the other. His son, Roman (played by Andy Milonakis) is extremely spoiled and disrespectful to Armond. He is also best friends with Kelsey Grammer (who is never seen on camera, only heard in phone calls). Armond goes through a series of reality shows throughout the series. After his wife leaves him, he gets a show about his dating life, while his son gets a show about living with his mother in what used to be Armond's house ("Roman's Empire"). Armond finds a wife, Shannon, a woman who has had a little (read: a lot) of plastic surgery done, yet Armond still finds her to be the most beautiful woman he's ever met. He gets a show about married life with Shannon, until she eventually leaves him, too. Armond goes to visit her, but during the 10 seconds the cameras aren't on Armond, he finds her dead. Armond loses everything, but is eventually let go because of a mistrial. He still claims he didn't k** her, and in the third season figures out who did (who we'll get to later in the list). An introduction to Armond C-Czar C-Czar is a toilet baby (which he'll repeatedly remind you) who is actually genuinely likable when compared to most Kroll characters, due to his naivety and earnestness. C-Czar first appeared as Armond's son Roman's older friend on "Roman's Empire". C-Czar pressures Roman to act out in front of his mom, which causes her to spank him. Roman leaves the room crying, only to come back and find his mother having s** with C-Czar. Afterwards, when Roman is sent to military school and his mother goes to jail for statutory rape, C-Czar is given the house they once lived in, along with his own reality show "C-Czar's Palace". He then meets Pretty Liz on a dating show called "Ice Dating" and the two hit it off. C-Czar accidentally impregnates Pretty Liz, who decides to keep it a secret. C-Czar gets a new reality show, "Dad Academy", where he is trained by several different fathers (one of whom being Armond) who teach about each aspect of being a father, and a baby headmaster then decides whether or not C-Czar is fit to be a parent. In the finale, he saves Pretty Liz's niece Denise (also played by Slate) from a doghouse at the Rich Dick (they're up next)'s house, and Pretty Liz is so touched by this she decides for it not to be a secret that he's the father of her baby. An introduction to C-Czar Rich Dicks Aspen (Kroll) is new money, while Wendell (Jon Daly) is old money. Aspen is (half) Jewish, while Wendell doesn't like Jews, and he and sister (played by Kroll's real life girlfriend Amy Poehler) aren't allowed to have babies with Jewish people because it would "ruin the bloodline". What these two have in common is their selfish ways, love for d** and the motion picture Dick Tracy, contempt for anyone they deem beneath them, and that neither of them has worked a day in their life, outside of the rare occasion Wendell's maid Consuela has the day off or Wendell's father threaten to cut him off. These two could possibly have been inspired by people Kroll grew up around and hated (he himself comes from a family where his father is a billionaire), these two certainly embody the name Rich Dicks. These two have definitely had some of the more surreal adventures on the show, from being kidnapped by a Mexican drug cartel (until they realized they know the boss, who lets them go and parties with them) to Wendell at one point dying and coming back to life days later. An introduction to the Rich Dicks Wheels Ontario Wheels Ontario is a parody of Canadian teen soap opera Degra**i High. The show mostly focuses on Mickey (Kroll) a Bieber-haired regular Canadian teen who goes to a school where all the kids are paralyzed except for him. He quickly befriends a girl named Tunes (played by Samantha Futerman), who secretly likes Mikey. Tunes quickly becomes pregnant with her teacher "Coach Teacher" (played by Jon Daly, once again)'s baby, a topic he avoids talking about. Tunes later decides she wants to become a rapper, but when she goes to a dangerous neighborhood to rap, she falls in with a bad crowd and ends up shooting (and temporarily paralyzing) Mickey. Mickey comes back depressed and addicted to pills, but when his friends and family hold a suggestion (Canada's version of an intervention) he gives up the pills. Toons & Mickey then hook up. As Wheels Ontario is made in Canada, it's characters have Canadian accents, and use exclusively Canadian and French-Canadian terms. They also frequently make no-so-subtle, yet still somehow very polite digs at America, and constantly reference things that show Canada in a positive light, such as it's universal health care. An introduction to Wheels Ontario Bryan La Croix/Show Us Your Songs Bryan La Croix (Kroll), a parody of Justin Bieber like teen idols, plays Mickey on Wheels Ontario. In reality, he uses his celibacy as a selling point for tween girls, so much so that he even makes a song called NTR 2 Win, where girls can enter in a contest to take his virginity. Later on he enters a "rebellious" phase, where he's caught on video doing things like refusing to go to bed even though it's his bedtime, and so he makes a rap song about it called "Ottawanna Go to Bed" Bryan, along with a famed French-Canadian contortionist, and Gene Creemers (Jon Daly), who has played Coach Teacher on Wheels Ontario for over 20 years, host the Canadian talent show "Show Us Your Songs". The show is a singing/general talent competition like American Idol or America's Got Talent, with the only difference being that everybody wins, since the people in Canada are far too polite to vote someone off the show. On the show it is shown that Creemers has a barely concealed dislike for La Croix, and that he is bitter that he still is on the show after 20 years. An introduction to Bryan La Croix Ref Jeff Ref Jeff (Kroll) is an incredibly unpopular professional referee who is always trying to invite himself to go out with players later, asking if they've "locked down" any plans. His unpopularity isn't just contained within the NBA; when he goes to jail his cellmate hangs himself to get away from Jeff, despite the fact his cellmate only had one month left in prison, along with a wife and kids. When Jeff goes on a show called "Making Friends", he gets kicked out the first day because no one will go out to lunch with him, even with a million dollar prize if they do. He later finds some success when he and a fellow referee (played by Jordan Peele of Key & Peele) hit it off while co-refereeing a game. An introduction to Ref Jeff A European A European originally appeared in a spot-on informercial for European travel. Since then, he's sold a product (though it's unclear what it is) to a famous soccer player on a Shark Tank like show, appeared on "Show Us Your Songs", and possibly murdered Dr. Armond's wife Shannon. Not much is known about him, except for the fact that he is European. An introduction to A European El Chupacabra El Chupacabra is a loud, obnoxious radio host. El Chupacabra has characters of his own he does on the air, including "Old Man Juarez", "Goat" & "Baby". El Chupacabra originally appeared on Comedy Bang! Bang!, Thank You Very Cool & Reno 911! An introduction to El Chupacabra Fabrice Fabrice Though the character has rarely appeared on Kroll Show itself (only popping in once or twice to do Bruno like man on the street interviews), the flamboyant Fabrice Fabrice ("the name so nice, you gotta say it... again") is a staple of Kroll's, appearing on Comedy Bang! Bang! (the show and the podcast) and Thank You Very Cool, as well as the MTV Movie Awards and several Funny Or Die sketches. An introduction to Fabrice Fabrice Nash Ricky Originally appearing as a time-out entertainer, hired by football stadiums to make sure every second of a game ins entertaining for the crowd, we later get more information on Nash Ricky, finding out he and his group Sloppy Seconds had a minor hit in the late 1980's with the hair metal song "L.A. Deli". The stresses of fame later got to him, and the band quickly fell apart. Two decades later he went on a quest to reunite the band. He ended up deciding against reuniting the band, though, and instead opened up his own L.A. deli, which presumably failed due to the impossibly high standards he kept on how clean it should be. An introduction to Nash Ricky