(Bobby Russell) She comes in about six o'clock Trippin' over toys and pickin' up socks And you think her day had been a ton of trouble She's been doing important things With tradin' stamps and turnip greens And have I noticed how the price of soap has doubled. She's as normal as she can be And she never misses Jeopardy And I think that she'd elope with Dick VanDyke And when the kids have all been fed And when I lay me down to bed She gives me my time of the night. Then she's a lover she comes to my side Right around midnight after her day's been so confused That's why I love her and that's why I do right And if there's a reason God gave me a feeling baby it's you. She hates tangerines, she loves the rain Volunteers me for everything And the bank has never been right in her life She thinks my Uncle Bill's a sap She's taught me words like over draft And the only number she remembers is her shoe size. She had words with a guy next door And almost started a neighborhood war 'Cause he said something smart to our son Bob And therefore I had to invite him in And apologize and convince him That she really didn't mean he was a big fat slob. She's as normal as she can be And she never misses Jeopardy And I think that she'd elope with Dick VanDyke And when the kids have all been fed And when I lay me down to bed She gives me my time of the night...