Well it's one a.m. and I'm out of gas the last chance pump to home I already pa**ed but it's one a.m. and I'm out of gas mean miss curfew's gonna have my a** she'll think I'm givin' her a great big load when I tell her my affair with the open road she's gonna hit me with her rolling pin again and again and again and again and again she's gonna ask me where I've been when she hits me in the head with her rolling pin well it's two a.m. and front tire's flat I haven't got a notion where the hell I'm at but it's two a.m. and the front tires flat mean miss curfew's gonna have my a** she'll think I'm givin' her a great big load when I tell her my affair with the open road she's gonna hit me with her rolling pin again and again and again and again and again she's got the strength of a hundred men when she hits me in the head with her rolling pin well it's three a.m. and the engine dies she'll never put an ounce of her faith in my alibies but it's three a.m. and the engine's dead mean miss curfew's gonna tell the world she's been misled she'll think I'm givin' her a great big load when I tell her my affair with the open road she's gonna hit me with her rolling pin again and again and again and again and again she'll keep swinging til she does me in when she hits me in the head with her rolling pin it's the crack of dawn and I pull in the door swings open and it's her she don't have a rolling pin but it's the crack of dawn and I just pull in she says she's glad I'm alive don't care where I've been she didn't hit me with her rolling pin she didn't ask me where I'd been she gives me love and takes me in slaps my face and says with a grin, "don't do that again or I'll hit you with my rolling pin again and again!"