Eddie From Ohio - No Pain, No Problem lyrics

A spider of bungee cords holds down your life on the roof of your AMC rambler heading out west to less oil pastures like the fields that you see on the postcards that say wish you were here, but since you are there you just take these folks at their word when you move there, there's nobody there except a Walmart and three yogurt places Chorus: No pain, no problem I don't need a kick in the rear No pain over yonder That means there's no problem here A network of welcomers all want your business because your new phone number's listed but they wait to call until you have supper and they even know you by your first name they say glad that you're here now give us your visa you just take these folks at their word so you unload your problems while eating your yogurt until you hear a dialtone No pain, no problem a montra that rains in my ear No pain over yonder That means there's no problem here A lifetime of bunckles, a trophy for spelling some art that blew up in the kiln it's glued back together with elmers and tears it holds the pencils and looks like your uncle the yearbook from eigth grade and your old retainer and a slide whistle shaped like an ostrich then a thousand odd notes that share the same box all spill out like guts on the highway you'd think that the sound of cord modulation creates this illusion of hope the end must be happy, the end must be near but that's not the case we have here sometimes we change, and sometimes we don't where there's a will there's a won't so let's have 3 cheers for our status quo No pain, no problem we need to work on our cheer no pain over yonder that means there's no problem here that means there's no problem here no pain no problem