Early Adopted - No Holidays lyrics

I was a statue in a time lapse for some time Far from a monument I was far from a man that deserved that type of honor That type of acknowledgement I was stuck staring at a kid that I never knew I'd f** myself up if I met me at 22 I met me at 30 He told me if you want the good in life then that bad's worth hurdling Path's been murky, through the water and mud The bread crumbs, didn't lay out enough I guess finding my way home ain't as important to me as it may be to some I was chasing the sun No direction, no reason except to see a different reflection Of how that light hit when that tide comes in That ocean, no I hadn't seen yet Pacific was once my goal in the playback Type to blame my problems on the place I stay at And I ain't convinced that this isn't entirely true But once I am, I'll make my way back Never was a kid that wanted to face facts Never was a b**h, the homies, you can ask And only for good reason The kid that spit on my sister in the taxi, ripped em' out, he caught a beating Piece of sh**, that's family first Respect, one of the pieces of me that still works The other being my memory And it works too well, I still see her Fine line between feasible and fantasy world The day we met, I knew I would abandon this girl At least that's what she thought Never had her hands up in the fight She was covering her heart (no holidays) [Chorus] Holidays No holidays Holidays Throw it all away Holidays No holidays I painted on her dimples Her teeth was made of tinsel Decorate what we been through [Interlude] …You know it's crazy How you can't want something so bad, but it doesn't mean sh**, if the people you care about aren't there… Used to see hotels as a getaway Now they're just cold rooms off the interstate As a kid, place I'd k** to stay Now they only remind me how long I've been away Biggest mistake, traveled the world Cause she was the only one 'til I found there was more I never should've looked Should've stayed put Should've had no interest in what else there was I went in the woods Never made it out But taught myself to hunt & machete'd a new route Learned a lot about me Like how much I really did depend on you I didn't like it, and I realized it just now On a scale, weighing out the high's from the come down's Wondering if I knew now what I knew then If it would even make a difference Like, would I even apply the information? Shaking my head yes, but ain't really paying attention I was listening unless you caught me Always want someone to want me Cigarettes and coffee I'll risk the cancer for this conversation if you're offering I lived a lifetime in a week No place setting, no seat at the family feast