Earl Sweatshirt - For Casey lyrics

[Verse 1: FR33STYLE] It all started when Grandma handed me the phone I could tell something was wrong by the look and her tone My uncle let me know I got down on one knee and froze I couldn't come up with any words just handed my mom the phone Before I knew it I was holding Grandma close She was streaming tears and they were the most I'd seen since Grandpa went to his home I mean there was no holding back and I began to let go Overcome by grief, my mom joined and the tears rolled From there I went through different stages Disbelief, flowing tears, uncontrollable rage It's hard to explain all the thoughts in my brain So stunned, and I was already done with that day Went to the park to clear my mind and just run Ran a mile too fast and my asthma acted up I took a lap to walk and just send a prayer up to God Leave everything in His hands cause I was taking it hard Couldn't breathe, later that night I couldn't sleep I just felt like I would throw up Hoping the next day wouldn't show up and let me know this is real Its so difficult for me because I can't truly relate how I feel Breaking it to friends, I couldn't help but break down God didn't make men brave enough to deal with this kind of heartbreak It aches, my body feels weak after the weekend I was barely speaking, so quiet Like the hours after we found out The world changed, all the noise couldn't drown out our thoughts Looking back on holidays, us at the kid's table Each meal we'd finish up real quick so we were able To go to the backyard and play spies Up on the rooftop, only came in for pumpkin pie Spent hours on the trampoline each 4th of July Just wasting time, having fun under the blue skies Reminds me of the times we were up at the cabin Exploring the outdoors, staying up late and laughing You were with me one of the few times I've gone fishing Caught three little ones that day and it has me wishing I wish I knew what you were going through I wish I would have spent more time with you I wish I could've been there for your birthday last December I wish I had more recent events to remember I wish the list of memories could be longer I wish you weren't gone because I would often ponder What it would be like years down the road Maybe families of our own Only two months apart, but honestly I still looked up to you when we were younger Circumstances changed later on but I still liked to wonder No matter what, we shared the same love of music A constant topic - and we connected through it You knew this song before I showed you, already had it on repeat That's exactly why I'm using this beat, not for another remix Because music is not my focus To find my own way to cope is And through that I've come to discover This might make a man out of me and allow me to step up for your brothers They care for you just like your friends from Luther Prep They'll never forget what you meant to them Me neither Love you man