PATRICK BATEMAN: Whenever I shower - sometimes twice, sometimes three times a day - I use a honey almond wash on my ripped body, and an exfoliating spearmint gel on my face. I apply Clinique moisturizer and an anti-aging eye balm before I shave, with a razor and cream by Pour Homme. No cologne on the face, ever, because the high alcohol content dries out your skin and makes you look older. My suit today is an '80s drape from Allan Flusser, with a bladed back to accomodate my impressive physique. My tie is by Valentino Couture, with shoes by A. Testoni; underwear by Ralph Lauren. The painting - a David Onica. The TV set - thirty inches. Digital. Toshiba. High-contrast, highly-defined, plus it has picture-in-picture capabilities. Plus, freeze frame. My Walkman, with auto-reverse continuous play, is by Sony. I am twenty-six years old, living in New York City at the end of the century, and this is what being Patrick Bateman means to me.