I play in a band We're the best in the land We're big in both Chelsey & France. I play one mean guitar & then score at the bar There's a line o'chicks waitin' for their chance. So c'mon now honey I'll make you feel pretty These other girls mean nothin' to me Let's finsh these drinks & be gone for the night 'cuz I'm more than a handful you'll see. So kiss me, I'm sh**faced, I'm soaked, I'm soiled & brown. In the trousers, she kissed me, & I only bought her one round. I can bench-press a car I'm an ex-football star With degrees from both Harvard & Yale. Girls just can't keep up, I'm a real love machine. I've had far better s** while in jail. I designed the Sears Tower I make 2 grand an hour I cook the world's best duck flamber I take the pick of the litter Girls jockey for me I don't need these lines to get layed. So kiss me, I'm sh**faced, I'm soaked, I'm soiled & brown. In the trousers, she kissed me, & I only bought her one round. I'm a man of the night A real lady's delight. See my figure was chizzled from stone. One more for the gal then I'll escort her home Come last call I'm never alone. I've a house on the hill with a red water bed that puts Hugh Hefner's mansion to shame. With girls by the pool & Italian sports cars I'm just here in this dump for the game. So kiss me, I'm sh**faced, I'm soaked, I'm soiled & brown. In the trousers, she kissed me, & I only bought her one round. Eh,f** it. Who am I sh**in? I'm a pitiful sight And I ain't all that bright. I'm definitely not chizzled from stone. I'm a cheat & a liar, No woman's desire, I'll probly die cold & alone. But just give me a chance 'Cuz deep down inside I swear I got a big heart of gold. I'm a monogamous man no more one night stands Come on honey, lemme' take you home. So kiss me, I'm sh**faced, I'm soaked, I'm soiled & brown. In the trousers, she kissed me, & I only bought her one round. So kiss me, I'm sh**faced, I'm soaked, I'm soiled & brown. In the trousers (it was tiny!) and I only bought her one round. So kiss me, I'm sh**faced, I'm soaked, I'm soiled & brown. In the trousers, she kissed me, & I only bought her one round.