Dr. Jam - Merry Muthaf**in' Xmas lyrics

[Dolemite] Come on over, honey And give your uncle Dolemite a kiss [*kissing sounds*] Well, what you want, baby? [Baby] Would you tell me a story? [Dolemite] You want me to tell you a story? [Baby] Hell yeah! [Other Baby] Me too! [Dolemite] Yes honey, I'mma tell you a story About the bad-a** Eazy-E He was drinking whisky and gin at the age of three Listen and listen well He's a bad muthafu- [Mother] Gimmie that god damn book! Here, let me read you this one Christmas in Compton It was a silent night, yes, a holy night Until Mr. Claus turned into Santa muthaf**in' Wright [Carolers] Deck the halls with balls of holly Fa la la la la la la la la Tis the season to be jolly.... [Eazy-E] Merry Chrismas, motherf**er! [*Gun Shots*] [Verse 1: Eazy-E] Merry muthaf**in' Christmas and a ho ho ho! While I'm riding that cot under the mistletoe Now dashing through the snow In a candy red top 6-4 (hittin' them switches) Over the hills I go Laughing at this ho Nuts on her chin ring Making me feel right Oh what fun it is to know That I'm gonna get this p**y tonight So ring them bells, ring them bells She's taking it all the way Oh what fun it is to watch her s** my dick this way, hey Ring them bells, ring them bells She's taking it all the way Oh what fun it is to nut while she's s**ing my dick Oh yay! This is the season to get bitten Compton crime lick and I'm smoking on this sh** [Santa] Ho ho ho, come sit on my face - I mean lap And tell me what you want for Christmas, ho ho [Menajahtwa] I want a sleigh ride A Christmas Eve stick of rum She said I slide down the chimney and I'm gonna cum A VCR on the set with nothing but p**no flicks Get some Rudolph the red nose reindeer Getcha that gum like a everlastin' gobstoper Give me a hump for his co*k will be the party poppa I dig a ho Crack a dough By the nuts oh I want to be having a good time f**in' in tha snow I made him drop to his knees Yeah you know whats up I said here's some candy canes eat'em up I send him down, they jumping down, swinging by my toes Send me some cheese, I want the candy cream and the loot I want Santa to send me a little jack horny guy I want him to shake me ?? So all on the hunt, bon appetit And a condom in a tree [Eazy-E] All I want for Chrismas is my two front teeth My two front teeth, my two front teeth All I want for Chrismas is my two front teeth Yo wheres ya rhyme tell me Buckwheat [Buckwheat] Buckwheat is a wascal That's no Chrismas And all the toys, boys and girls f** ya wishes I not happy, overjoyed in this muthaf**a No indo under my tree so Santa be a s**a No sh** on the roof, cough up Rudolph's nuts When I was young I was the only kid Who had enough guts to be Good ole hearing on the East I'd stay awake just to let America know That Santa was a fake I used to believe in Saint Dick when Elvis was alive But all the f**ing bullsh** got played when I was five Years old, just stay young, bold writing Singing "Silent Night", caroling, reciting Now all I want for Christmas is my indo wreath I got my two front teeth Uncle Eazy be the jeezy and Just spread me a leaf Little kids, don't cry When you find out the Santa Claus is just a f**ing lie [Eazy-E] On the third day of Christmas, my homeboys gave to me Three pounds of indo Two birds of c**aine And a A muthaf**in' K, b**h [Hook] Eazy-E oh Eazy-E Show us how you treat those b**hes [Hook] I saw mommy f**ing Eazy Claus [Eazy-E] Close the door, little b**h I'm getting these draws [Hook] I'm a tell my daddy if ya a** don't stop [Eazy-E] I don't give a f** I'm getting Christmas cot Ho ho ho and away I go [Hook] Oh Saint Nick's got a dick like a pole [Woman 1] Well where's our sh**? [Woman 2] This motherf**er's cheap [Eazy-E] Shut the f** up, b**hes And go back to sleep [Will 1X] Yo black, what you want for Christmas? (Yo black, I want a job) For my Christmas, all the f**ed up people Want some corn-on-the-cob A Jew will eat some matzoh ball soup, but a n***a'll eat some Chitlins, watermelon, corn bread and some Fruit Loops Now who's caroling in my window Smokin' up indo Mechalecha hi, make a high note [apl.de.ap] Get out my f**ing yard with your camel You wanna get busy and Santa like a.. I am a rhymer The Atban Klann will make sh** slam, it's Christmas time The Simple Simon Christmas make me jam jam jam [Will1X] Yo black, what you want for Christmas? Yo black, I want some cash So I can buy some indo, chronic and some hash [Atban Klann (Will1X & apl.de.ap)] Yo, here comes the Atban Klann rough and rugged A rump pa bum bum A rump pa bum bum [All] Merry Muthaf**in' Chrismas Merry Muthaf**in' Chrismas Merry Muthaf**in' Chrismas And have a f**ed up new year [Eazy-E] You Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!! [Mother] And they all went to prison And lived f**ed up lives ever after The End