Dr. Hook - The Ugliest Man In Town lyrics

Now handsome guys get girls that are pretty Other guys get 'em 'cause they're clever and witty But the only love I ever get, I get out of pity 'Cause I'm the ugliest man in town I drive down the road in a Rolls Royce car Use hundred dollar bills when I light my cigar But still you know, that won't get you very far When you're the ugliest man in town There was a note on the doorstep where I was found It said this sweet child weighs eleven pounds So bring him up healthy and wealthy and stout Keep his back to the light, don't let it turn around Yeah all you women you're heartless and cold All you want is my silver and gold And don't you know that there's a beautiful soul Inside the ugliest man in town (Boy do I got plans for us) Yeah I'm so ugly I shave in the dark Kids start to cry when I walk through the park Clocks stop ticking and dogs start to bark Whenever I come around Yeah I walk down the street and the girls all hiss me If I die tomorrow not one of them would miss me Only reason they ball me is they can't stand to kiss me I'm the ugliest man in town Yeah I'm the ugliest man in town (You know a guy as ugly as you man could use a manager. You know what I mean? Just sign this small piece of paper Here man. You can give me a couple of bucks a week, a couple Of free meals man. I'll take you all over the world. We'll Go to Japan baby, they'll love you over there baby. They'll make another monster movie with you ha ha ha ha)