Doug Larsen - Dick Maintenance lyrics

If you're like me, you find it very hard to keep your dick dry.I left my dick unprotected, and it was worked out of shape in no time. I could barely recognize my own deck. Imagine that. Then I discovered Schaeffers New Zealand Style Deck Sealant, the best way to take care of your deck in three easy steps. First, wash your deck with soap and water. Then, wait for your deck to dry. Once your deck is clean and dry, paint your deck with Schaeffers Deck Sealant. I used to be too embarra**ed to invite people to see my deck. But now, my deck's the talk of the town. I even have pictures of my deck. Check out that deck. I wanna send this to my secretary. Barbara always loves to receive my deck pics. After all, summer time is all about spending time on your deck. I often have twenty to thirty people on my deck, at once! That can really wear your deck out, causing deck splinters and discoloration. But with Schaeffers Deck Sealant, my deck stays a nice golden brown color. Who wouldn't want a golden deck? I used to never let children anywhere near my deck. My deck was too dangerous for kids to play on. But it seems like every kid in the neighborhood has been on my deck this summer. And they've all had a good time. My deck's over seventy years old, but it looks brand new. That's part of the reason all my neighbors are jealous of my deck. Isn't that right, John? Yes, you've got a nice deck, okay?! His wife is always on my deck, begging me to know the secret of my perfect deck. If you like Schaeffers Deck Sealant, check out Schaeffers New Zealand Style Caulk. I had a huge hole in my deck, but I fixed it by jamming some caulk in it. You'd be surprised how many things you can fix by jamming caulk into them. Have an extra large hole in your deck? Try Schaeffers African Style Caulk. Just go to your local home improvement store, and ask for the big black caulk. Schaeffers New Zealand Style Deck Sealant. Don't put it on your penis.