Doug Anthony Allstars - Broad Lic Nic lyrics

It's a broad lick nicht and I'll tell you while I'm able Or I'll smash your skull if you don't drink enough Black Label It's a hard man's drink and though the bottle's broken Put your money on the table, strain the gla** through your teeth We grew up lean, mean, kings of the street scene Without a mother's guiding hand to keep us clean Down your rum, we'll take life as it comes And all you blue rinse critics lick our literary bums I drank my first pure malt before I was three Smoked a pack of Dutch cigarettes my pappy left for me And I romanced a little la** who was twelve years my elder At the age of six I held her That year I also bed her So before I was seven My first child was born I told a pack of filthy lies as a politician Heard my own confession as act of contrition I spent ten years as a Trappist monk in a village in Tibet And I walked up Everest naked just to win a bet Well I cut off my leg to win a one legged race And when I won I stitched it on my little sister's stomach I fought Mohammed Ali, I've seduced Mata Hari I've even worn a sari when I impersonated Gandhi And I dare any man here to call me a liar But I swear I've seen Ezekiel, I swear I've seen Isaiah Toasting marshmallows in Beelzebub's fire And we're mad, bad, dangerous to know We never gave a tinker's cuss about the seeds we'd sow And we stay up late and never be forlorn And when the morning comes around we'll kiss the crack of dawn We took the wax from Kerouacs and dusty Dostoevskys And when all was said and done booze was all I had left me For all the world's great thinkers are all a load of pus And if you asked how Zarathustra spoke, he spoke thus: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink until you're drunk Drink until you can't stand up Till you're roly poly stung Till your bladder bursts, till you throw up fit to burst Till they lift you up still comatose and slam you in the hearse And we're good, bad, ugly as sin We mixed up cough syrup with our gin So take your medicine I pray that when I die There'll be someone else around to kiss my arse goodbye Yes I pray, I pray, I pray that when I die There'll be someone else around to kiss my arse goodbye