Doug Anthony All Stars - I Hate the French lyrics

I love the French I like to walk along the Rue de San Lagare Where man can live and love without a care I fill my lungs with air that's fresh and clear Then I like to walk along the Rue de San Lagare I like to stroll (He likes to stroll) Along the Centre de Pompidou The Tour Eiffel (the Eiffel Tower) comes sweeping into view The mademoiselles (lovely ladies) All say "Bonjour m'seur I'd like to walk with you along the Cote d'Azur" I love the French (ba*tards!) Even though they're arrogant They laugh aloud when you order a croissant They come over here and for this we won't forgive 'em First they steal our jobs And then they steal our women 'And our Shetland ponies' 'Some examples of French humor for you, a friend of mine came over this morning and I said have a sit Ron, a Citroen, a Citroen, sounds better in French. Um with all the French nuclear testing happening in the south pacific right now, pretty soon it will be so hot there that people will be wearing no bikini at all, bikini atoll? ' 'f** you we've got the money' 'Works in German. Um um um um, how many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb? Who give a f** I hope they all die of cancer for being so f**ing arrogant. A little bit of healthy racism there. And um why did the French man cross the road? Who gives a sh** I hope they all die of brain aneurysms because the last time I ordered a cup of coffee in Paris they treated me like sh**. French humor.' The Germans are lovely Tim But they are always starting wars The English are fine Paul Yes Rich, but they're miserable bores The Dutch are Dutch And I believe that says it all The Swiss like bank accounts And having all their cash on call The Greeks I like But they give me this nasty rash Swedes sounds like stewed vegetable mash The Portuguese all pluck the hair behind their knees The Italians are weird because they've got gigantic heads 'what? what?' 'all Italians with out exception have heads roughly this large' 'that's bullsh** mate, that's racist, that's bullsh** 'go back to university Richard' 'it's f**ing true Richard, when was the last time you saw an Italian wearing a hat, they got to have f**ing big heads like that, its one of those Darwinian things, gotta have f**ing big heads so they can win the soccer. And if they had weenie heads like the rest of us, right if the Italians had small weenie heads like the rest of us right, then their big Italian eyeballs would hang off the sides of their heads and on particularly hot days the sun would turn the whites of their eyes into a molten lava which would drip down their cheeks and form little eyeball puddles in the sand.' 'that's right, are there any people here this evening of Italian descent?' 'just put your hand up' 'put your hand up if you're Italian' 'put your hand up there, just identify yourselves.' 'BAHHHHHHHH!!!!' 'f**ing hell! look at the size of your head! Would you mind moving towards the back madame there are people trying to see behind you. Where are all the other Italians in Edinburgh. Where are they with their good looks and brightly colored backpacks. They're all at home lying in their hotel rooms trying to get up. I'm not Italian I'm a human being.' 'Bullsh** you're Italian' I like to walk along the Rue de San Lagare Where man can live and love without a care I fill my lungs with air that's fresh and clear Then I like to walk along the Rue de San Lagare He's nearly finished I really, really love the French He's nearly finished I really, really love the French He's such a a**hole I really, really love the French He's such a sh**head I really, really love the French He's such a wa*ker I really, really love the French He's nearly finished I said I really, Lord I really, really, really love the French He's nearly finished I really, really love the French He's nearly finished I wanna f**ing love the French He's nearly finished 'f**, f** the French, you f**ing French f**er, f**, you f**ing French f**er. Sorry about that, just for a second there I thought I was at a Christian revival meeting' I said I really, Lord I really, really love the French 'He's finished and so are we, we're the Doug Anthony Allstars, goodnight Britain'