We should all go back to church cos they've hit the market place They're getting fashionable ideas from back issues of "The Face" They've bought part shares in the pill, p**n videos and guns, guns, guns! Old concepts are boringn the designer ma** is fun They've changed the local parishes into saunas, gyms and spas The Eucharist and the Covenant is now a mini-bar They've bought a New York decorator to turn cherubs into fairies The body and the blood to caviar, Bloody Marys Where the font is a jacuzzi, Holy water's Perrier Cause the Vatican has found a way to make religion pay If you've soiled your conviction, sold your soul All you need is absolution, get some good rock n roll Let my people go, go, go to church - listen to the preacher Go to church - he'll teach you more than Friedrich Nietzsche Go to church - where you can let your hair hang down, down, down No need to be embarra**ed cause there's no one else around The parish priests are trying to make lay-people of your daughters Installing water beds as their sacrificial altars Parents are concerned but nothing could be safer Cause your girl won't get pregnant if she's chewing on that wafer And while I'm on the topic, did I forget to mention That Brother Joe rides piggyback with dubious intentions? And Amy Grant's has songs that have you coming in your socks While pre-pubescent school boys try to pillage her poor-box The flying nun with see through frocks and s**y lingerie Now they've turned the sacred sacrament into a cabaret Let my people go, go, go to church - that's what my mother used to say Go to church - or you will rue the day Go to church - where you can go and see all the pretty people If you've never been before it's the building with the steeple The ma** was best in Latin, they never should have banned it It doesn't make sense now that we can understand it So, cur unum servo deum, Lefevre is not a braggart But if he don't take care he'll get laid, he'll get laid He'll get laid off like Jimmy Swaggert Admission is free if you're certain of your fate If not I recommend some big cash on the plate Or get a damn good lawyer to change the ref's decision Cos I'm stuck with going to church like I'm stuck with circumcision Let my people go, go, go to church - cause you may find favor Go to church - lift your arms to the savior Go to church - it's getting warm and I can hear that final bell You'd better move your feet there's no fire escape in Hell Come on all you s**ually impotent, drunken, drug-pushing scumbags... Go to church!