Don Trip - Hold Back Tears lyrics

[Chorus:] This ain't bout the money This ain't bout the deals This ain't bout the cars or the hoes or the wheels Think you know but you got no idea How hard this is tryna hold back tears [Verse 1:] Ok lets talk about my past Mama raised me and rick without a dad Only 6 or 7 I imagine we was bad Cause we got beat by every boyfriend she had With extension cords tearing flesh off our a** Bleedin through our drawers Blood leakin to our pants No wonder we couldn't sit still in cla** To this day mama say it never happened Guess its just bullsh** that me and rick imagined You aware I got a 2-year old son Honestly mama's never asked about him once Never kissed him on his cheeks Never looked at him and smiled Maybe mama don't believe that the baby's even mine Mama watch me fight day and night just to be eith him Maybe she hate him cause its me that she see in him Had us both when she was only 17 Guess we ruined mama's dreams of being homecoming queen Sorry mama But I never asked for this Not once did I ask to be your ba*tard kid Mama told me f** rap, get a job But if I ain't sell dope we'd starve Now I got a deal mama treat me like a star And she yet to ask me how I'm doin when she call Instead she tell me she want 5 new cars I just tell her yes ma'am and wipe the frown off my heart [Chorus:] [Verse 2:] Say my brothers all I have We grew up together but we grew apart fast Our family portrait is torn in half And he blame me for all the hard ship hes havin I never knew why But he hate me with a pa**ion He feel neglected he feel abandoned We don't get along, no, we always clashin We used to be close though Don't know what happened I love him to d**h though Hope he don't attack me Don't understand why he got so much hatred Brother threatened to murder me on more than one occasion And that sh** hurts And that sh** k**s me Feelin like my brother's gonna be the man that k**s me Some of the time thats my n***a, thats my guy Whenever he's high Its a whole nother side Dr. Jekyl, Mr. Hyde He's a whole nother guy And I know he mean it when I look into his eyes I'll k** for my brother I'll steal for my brother I'd die while I stand for my brother And thats how I feel bout my brother Yet but still I pray I don't die by the hands of my brother And I have nightmares that I gotta fight him back To keep him from hurtin me Swear I don't like that But Ima keep tryin It might be a lost cause But I'll never let him know Just wipe the frown off my heart [Chorus:]