Don Cook - Burden lyrics

I could never understand what's my purpose in life And I'm not buying for a second that I'm worth the insight In light of all the information, I've been hurting inside And I dunno if I can serve if all my verses are lies, I'm tired I lie about all of the smallest of things It's pathologic and I'm talking to the wall as I think If Mom could buy it for a second, I'll be off in a blink Maybe Miami, I think I'd pull it off as a shrink And deep, deep-down that's a problem for me I never think about the options that are offered for free And every college that I've thought about or got up to see Was either too f**ing expensive, or it's ROTC When I was young, I never knew what I had wanted to be I felt like I'm the only kid that hadn't started to leap It's like I'm playing Frogger and I'm hopping the street And just when you think I'm on a log You see me flop in the creek And it's about damn time that I'm honest with you All of these songs that I've been writing are a product of youth I'm multiplying what I know with what I thought to be true And I'm implying that I've grown to make it harder to lose I am an artist, not a part of all these cardigan groups If Mr. Rogers taught me anything, tomorrow's a new And pardon me if I've been begging, but your car isn't used I've been a burden cause I'm hurting and my heart is a fuse that's burning And it's been curled around my neck in a noose Since suicide isn't an option, I'll just rest on the stool If you and I can get along, I'll be a less of a fool And do or die isn't an option when you're stressing the truth I'm done, can't even say if it's been futile for me Cause everyday I tell myself I want a music degree Cause I don't wanna keep the pay that I am used to be reaping Minimum wage isn't the way that I will choose to be seen So ladies, I spit my game like I am majorly weak My last relationship was painful if I'm saying the least And I don't blame her, I was lame, and I'd be waiting for weeks Before I'd say a single word, like I was taking a leave And at the age of eighteen, I'd like to lay it to rest I felt depressed and said some things I thought conveyed it the best As many times as I am sorry, you won't taste the regret That I've been facing since the day that all that anger was sent It's been about a half a decade since you named me your ex And I am proud that I can say that I have changed for the best I'm feeling better by the day, I'm not in vain or depressed Just need a second to collect it all and take it in steps Just laid a friend to rest after I paid my respects d**h has put me in a daze, I think the pain hasn't set I get away on rainy days to put my anger to bed When it awakes, I take some paper and my cranium vents It saves me, and I've been pacing like I usually do What do you say back to a brain that isn't used to the truth? And I'm ashamed to know the names of those I threw for the loop That is an omen, just know it's not a beautiful view And so, this is me opening my heart in the booth Who would've known I'd be as lonesome as that parted caboose My train of thought is off the rails and hasn't started to move That's been partly due to trailing when I'm talking to you So f** it, I've been keeping it in from day one There ain't no fun in making music when your label is un-supportive Even Jordan, only one who's important Either's ignoring my lyrics Or he's just pissed I'm putting more into my music Cause who's the kid who told me to record it? From spittin' back and forth to putting vids up in the morning? At this point, it's more than just a door I haven't chosen The world had open arms and now society is closing on me Only have about a year to be settled Guess it's apparent I don't care about my future endeavors Better to plan ahead and never get what expected? I fell In love with confessing all of my stress to the pencil I'm f**ing up - all the papers in the courses I cheat I'm f**ing up - all the days that in the mornings I dream I'm f**ing up - all relationships important to me I'm f**ing up my life I start to think that my reflection is depressing Been trying to send a message to the man in that dimension Begin to fear the mirror when it appears inside a restroom Tears cause it to smear and then he sneers when I upset him If heaven, is anything like what they tell me it is I fell for the tricks and get to see what hell really is It helps me to sit and think about the wealthiest kids And tell myself not to sell out and let the selfishness win Fella, carry umbrellas on the sunniest days, there's a cloud that follows round and it's been up in my space I get the rain in sudden waves, I give a f** what you say I promise that I'll be the bombest when I'm up to the plate, so Thank you all for being patient with me If I delayed this any longer I'd be craving to breath And If my conscience has a say, then I'll be waving a peace But I ain't talking 'bout the pistol partner, c'est la vie