[JOE (Voiceover)] I guess it was five a.m A homicide had been reported From one of those crazy mansions up on Sunset Tomorrow every front page Is going to lead with this story You see an old time movie star is involved Maybe the biggest star of all But before you read about it Before it gets distorted By those Hollywood piranhas If you wanna know the real facts You've come to the right party Let me take you back six months I was at the bottom of the barrel I'd had a contract down at Fox But I'd fallen foul of Darryl Now I had a date at Paramount Along with about a thousand other writers If it didn't come up roses I'd be covering funerals Back in Dayton, Ohio I'd hidden my car three blocks away Turned out to be a smart move